Sunday, October 31, 2004

An eyeful a day keeps the doctor away

My stats are showing many searches for the "Jonathan Hayter" article which declared "staring at women's breasts is good for men's health." So I followed the original link to the newspaper clipping and sure enough the image is gone. Well, having the foresight and the ability to recognise this as a cute Photoshop job, I saved a copy of the "article" for prosperity and now that it has disappeared from its source, I re-present it to you! Posted by Hello
A New Day!

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This Morning
I'm pretty wigged today. Commitments getting in the way of commitments. Somebody commit me!

Anyone join Orkut yet? (In affiliation with) Google has set up an online community and is giving logins the same way that GMail accounts were handed out.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

The scouts sleeping with the fishes. Tommy in the foreground Noah at the opposite end just out of the picture. This is the tunnel in the Ripley's Aquarium in the Smokies. Normally a moving sidewalk that takes you under the shark tank. On this night it was a hotel for the scouts. It was very cool! Posted by Hello


I had this bizarre dream last night that we were living in this upscale zero lot line neighborhood and my wife decides to open our house up as a deli. Suddenly the house has 14 foot ceilings, is brightly lit, and has little square tables all over the place with huge bottles of ketchup on each one. Our success booms and the desire to eat our food brings people in by the droves. We had never intended it to be more than serving a few people and stress comes as we start to worry that the health inspector will learn of our restaurant, discover we are working without permits, see our dust bunnies, and kick us out of our house.

From the Mouths of Babes

Other things a two year old should not know how to say: "Daddy, don't step in Molly's poop!" not that she should not be able to grasp the words. The dog should not be doing that in the house!

Amy now is playing nicely with one of her dolls and chattering up a storm. She has such a great imagination!


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This Morning
Last night Tommy and I went to Cherokee Caverns (broken link atm) Haunted Cave (coupon) which has an interesting history (broken link atm). Apparently this off the beaten track cave was a popular attraction with the landowner's house and restaruant sitting atop the cave entrance until in 1980 when a fire burned the structures to the ground. Why in 24 years something wasn't rebuilt to showcase this beautiful cave eludes me. The formations are still mostly intact. Unfortunately, vandals have broke many of the stalactites but still not enough to ruin the cave for visitors.

The visitors were all very appropriate. No blatant drunkness. No sweet, musty smells. One adult couple (my age or older) had some laughable, rather innocent fun in the line. I think I was the only one to notice. She wore overalls. He was standing behind her hugging her but his right hand was inside the overalls down to her crotch and it was making pulsing motions. Her right hand covered her crotch like a small boy with a strong urge to pee and she had an ear to ear calm grin.

The ghouls did an awesome job. I was apprehensive because I was told that the cave was an adult experience but most of the line consisted high schoolers then there was a large contingent of 6-8 year olds. Overall the event was well done but not too scary. Our overprotective society no longer allows ghost and ghouls to physically touch their victoms so the classic surprise brushes are gone. Tommy and I pulled up the rear with the guide. I was introduced to our group of 20 or so scare victoms by the guide and throughout the tour she called to me to see if the tail was still with the group. At one point we did a trust exercise where we had to put our hands on the shoulders of the person in front of us (so Tommy was holding onto a stranger) and we walked through the pitch black of a pit full of snakes. We stepped on snakes. They bit out of ankles and hisses in our ears. Upon exiting the snake pit we stepped on a platform that vibrated so violently that I thought the roof might cave it. I expected to see the lady in overalls lying on it. I would give the Haunted Cave a recommendation for 10 years and older and a consideration for any 6 year old and older that is well adjusted and knows what to expect. Cost: $8 per person ($1 coupon handed out at the event by The Humane Society) children may be cheaper..I didn't ask.

Outside the cave the ghouls had fog machines that poured the fog into 2 foot (.6 meter) sqaure boxes. The back panel was made of something flexible (cloth perhaps) and the front had a circle cut in it. When the back was slapped with a hand the box would fire a smoke ring 25-30 feet (7.6-9 meters). From this distance you could feel the air wack you as one cannon made fun by firing smoke rings into the crowd standing in line (we probably had 40-60 or more people in front of us and an equal number showed up behind us with more pouring in as we left). There was a child's tent with some games (I assume this helps if a child has to be removed for being to scared). Beverages and food were available.

Much fun was had! Tommy behaved exceptionally! Twice he tried to turn to complaining (smoke and boredom in the line) but after a reminder to speak only nice things we had no more complaining.

Friday, October 29, 2004


Having a very productive morning!

Rules when convenient

Commandments on Hold
A New Day!

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This Morning
Woke at 3am and allllmost stayed up to work! Rose at 5:30.

Let's start the day off with politics. The lunatics are at work again. Thanks to South Knox Bubba for the link.

Bush Administration Acknowledges Grand Canyon was made by Noah's flood not geologic forces

Washington, DC — The Bush Administration has decided that it will stand by its approval for a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah’s flood rather than by geologic forces, according to internal documents released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).

Thursday, October 28, 2004


Video clears up swift boat issue


My heart feels funny today. Its like I have very shallow breathing. And my stress is down so its not anxiety.

Into the Mouths of Babe

Amy discovered she can make it up and down the stairs. She also discovered the bucket of candy I received on my birthday. She has now discovered that the gate at the top of the stairs is mounted a little too high and she has forced half her body under it. I had mounted it at the upper bounds so the cat could get under it I suppose I need to correct that. I fear she will be going over it soon.
A New Day!

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This Morning
Ugh. Woke again at 4:30 and failed to rise! I see a pattern!

I have a boy scout meeting that I'm leading tonight and I feel totally unprepared (tis my first one).

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Bush's One Finger Victory Salute

Bush in classic form brought to us by Boing Boing. Now is this a outtake from SNL?

Evil Spirits and the Sky is Falling!

Free Sex Revolution Round 2

Welcome back 1970s style sexual freedom!

A chemical specially designed to thwart how the AIDS virus invades during sex offers scientists a new lead in the long quest for a vaginal gel that women could apply to protect themselves when men don't use a condom.
Wait a minute? A gel? This business gets messier by the minute! And this gel doesn't protect against the array of other STDs out there. Oh! And the big one. It doesn't prevent pregnancy. (I guess the other big thing is its only been tested on monkeys but you know.. give a guy enough beer and...)

Ok. So maybe this isn't a sexual revolution but it should noted that this is a landmark development in the field of AIDs research!

Plug into Broadband!

The Federal Communications Commission on Thursday approved rules for transmitting broadband communications signals over electric power lines... Wahoo! If I recall right the science behind this promises 10gigabit transmissions! And your house is already wired with it in every room, the garage, the basement and the storage shed!

Traffic Woes

Speeding Clapton Loses Driver's License

Eric Clapton won't be driving in France for a while. Police said they clocked the rock star speeding down a highway at 134 mph and suspended his license.
Police confiscated Clapton's British driver's license, suspending his right to drive in France.

Clapton, 59, took the bad news well, agreeing to a photo session with police.

After paying a $922 fine, he then rolled away in his Porsche this time in the passenger seat with his secretary behind the wheel...
Well, if Clapton can take it in stride I suppose I can humble my way through this citation over the stop sign...

Controlling the Environment

Wahoo! Yesterday: 0 caffiene intake!
Today: No caffiene so far. Cutting out sound too. Wearing ear plugs that reduce noise by 20db. I wish I had some airport style ear muffs to go over them. It's interesting when you cut out the white noise because your ears ring hard for awhile. I think the ringing is always there we just don't notice it because of the amount of noise we process.

Don't Drink Tea and Drive

Kava Tea will get you a DUI. Apparently kava tea acts as an antianxiety drug. I think I'll be getting some!

"We're cracking down on DUI drivers," Feasel said. "Whether it's driving under the influence of kava, or a good merlot or Advil, you're going to be prosecuted."
Ok. Don't take Advil and drive in California! Point taken.

A New Day!

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This Morning
Woke at 4:30 and had the energy but not the motivation to get my day started. Bummer.

"I've got a strong urge to fly..But I've got nowhere to fly to"

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Search Engine Wars is a search engine that searches Google, Google Images, Inside the Boook (Amazon), Gurunet and more. lets you make comments on the search results and helps you remember things about your searching so that once you've found something you don't immediately lose it again.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I am my own obsticle.
Master: Then you must solve your own problem.

Listening for Productivity

Today's productivity music is: Grateful Dead Europe '72 (amz)


Sometimes my coding feels like I'm walking through a swamp. I just can't type as fast I as I think and design. None-the-less, I've made progress on my European client today.

Time to switch gears to some brief marketing followed by work for my local client.

Seeking the NT Password

I seem to be getting a lot of traffic from people looking for information about Austrumi.

If you are having trouble finding "nt_pass" in the GUI quit looking because its not there. As you boot, before you get to the GUI (xwindows I think), press the space bar then type "nt_pass" (without the quotes) and press enter. You may or may not see the boot prompt as you do this. After you do that you will get a menu instead of the GUI.

Here are some discussion forums for Austrumi.

Another invaluable resource is the Ultimate Boot CD ( windows version here ).


Each month ThinkGeek has a Haiku contest. My August entry appears below:

stuff for smart masses.
coolest desk in my office!
empty bank account.
A New Day!

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This Morning
I went to bed to hide last night and hid well until this morning. The hiding spot was warm and comfortable and I did not want to leave its security. If I had the luxury to do so, I'd have a total meltdown today.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Waste of Time

Today's waste of time comes from testypea found through BlogExplosion. Let's park some cars!


Wahoo! I'm making coding progress on a long overdue project.

Fire Damage

So, my family pulls a quick on me. They convince me that Tommy and I need to clean the trash cans out of the downstairs. I direct Tommy from the bed while watching a little tube. Sarah nonchalantly says, "Mom needs you to see what Molly has done." So I casually start heading upstairs only to hear Sarah shout "hurry!" I bolt up stairs and there to my surprise is the sun. No that wouldn't make sense. I know! I had a heart attack bolting up the stairs and I'm seeing the light. But it's so hot. Shoot. I'm going to Hell! Wait a minute the smoke alarms are going off. OH! That's my cake!

I am staring into a single flame. It stands about 4-5 inches high, covers the surface of something akin to the palm of my hand, and emanates from the 5 millimeter stubs of what at one point must have been 35 birthday candles. The plastic decorations on the cake that resemble balloons or 5 juggling balls have partially melted. My wife's eyebrows are singed and a river of green wax flows like lava across the top of cake and dribbles to the wood floors. I make the hastiest wish ever (should a half naked blonde 23 year old and her fully naked twin sister show up on my doorstep I'll know I should have put a little more thought into it before blowing out the candles) and blow the flame in the direction of my wife's face fortunately extinguishing the fire before it grew too close and no wax splattered! It was quite a moment.

I have had it explained to me in no uncertain terms that all future cakes for me will have two candles on it. I optimistically hope that one day I'll see a third.

Thank you my loving family for a wonderful birthday! (and please forgive the twins)


Two TN Newspapers endorse Kerry (As seen on South Knox Bubba):
Commercial Appeal (Memphis)
Tennessean (Nashville)

Of course, here's the South Knox Bubba link pointing out that the dumbbutt Knoxvillian News Sentinel endorses Bush. Further demonstration that this town is backwards, lacks foresight and is in no way progressive.

Eye of the Storm

A momentary calm has settled upon me
Jimmy's calypso rhymes bring back settled times
A decision to set a goal has cajoled some productivity
Success to maintain; procrastination to distain

Last Meals

When we lived in New Jersey (for me that was 8th grade - 10th grade), we were in a brand new neighborhood built on an old farm. The house we lived in, a two story Jamestown, had an older house behind it with an even older dog. The dog was caged in the corner of a yard with the old wire fence that surrounded the yard as two of the cage walls. Either the same wire of the fence or chicken wire was used to make the other two walls. It had a rotting dog house and about enough space for the dog to lay stretched out...not even enough space for the dog to walk about. If I recall correctly the dog's name was Timothy (or at least now it is for the sake of this story).

Timothy was getting along in his years and not looking so hot. He was certainly did not receive much TLC.

There are some things I love. Animals, and at this time particularly birds, were way up on my list. Food probably came before animals. Our breakfast window faced Timothy's house. We had a bird feeder outside that window and I kept it filled with a custom mix that I'd hand make from the feed store on Main Street. I'd ride my bike down to Main Street and buy some candy from the crankly lady in the ugly mold green candy store. Then I'd ride to a Andy Ward's house and spend some time. Then it was off to the feed store and home.

The neighborhood had a cat that enjoyed my birds more than I and many a bird had its last meal while I had my breakfast. At this point in my life I had never experienced allergies but I rapidly developed an allergy to cats. That psychological reaction has long since gone.

My folks love to cook a fancy meal. One night my mother cooks venison (could have been lamb) and my father, my brother and I force it down and lie to her about how good it was. When she leaves the room my father looks up at us, collects our meat, and says, "Timothy needs a good meal." The dog loved that food! Never had we seen it so perky! It died the next day.

Don't eat my mother's venison!

A New Day!

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This Morning
I am falling apart badly this morning. This is a morning I need help and there is no where to turn. Today I need order, predictability and rules. The day has started in disorder with things no in place like they should be.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Linking Fame!

Two-Paws 1 minute video made it into the 31st weekly edition of Carnival of the Cats! How fun! I wonder how she got submitted? I'll have to send some in myself now.

What time is it?!

My calendar says Daylight savings is next weekend. shows the time as 11:22. says the time change is next weekend.
Comcast has already set their clocks back an hour.

I cannot believe how dependent we have become on the clock on the cable box! I remember as a child how cool it was to call a phone number and get the time and weather. Of course, we still had rotary dial phones back then.

I think it is time to get one of those clocks that syncs with the military clocks.. wait a minute! Our GPS does that! Where is that thing?

Missed Goals

10 years ago today I made a commitment to myself. One that somewhere along the way fell apart. I committed to sacrifice a decade of my life for early retirement. I saw completely feasible that on this day I could be economically unburdened and self-sufficient. My income would be through investments, interest, non-labor revenue and residual income. I would take my late 30s and do those wonderful thrill seeking, life threatening adventures that I enjoy so much. Sky diving, hang gliding, hiking the Appalachian Trail, kayaking the Intercoastal Waterway to Cancun, scuba diving and so much more were planned for my late 30s. My 40s would be world travels and publishing photo journals of my travels. The plans become vague after that.

At one point I wanted to live fast and die young. By that plan I'd be at my end today.

Obviously I have walked a far different path and am happy for it! There is no thrill described in the first paragraph to compare to hearing your child sing the alphabet song for the first time, or see the gleam in their eye as their name is called for that first place ribbon at the horse show, or to release some exuberant, over-confident pre-teen into a chaotic throng of delinquents at the mall, or watch a small boy suck the marrow from life. I have a very loving wife and a wonderful family! This is a very happy day!

Business Models

Political - Biased Paper Tries to Lull Dems into Not Voting

Today's Knoxville News Sentinel (the world's worst paper) ran an article on the front left read of the paper titled Pollster: Bush lead in state approaching a 'blowout' ( BugMeNot for a login )

George Bush's lead over John Kerry in Tennessee has passed the "no contest" level and is approaching the "blowout" level, according to the director of a new poll conducted by the University of Tennessee Social Science Research Institute.
There can only be one goal here. The paper is trying to create a self-fulfilling prophecy by telling people "if you support Kerry, no need to come to the polls." What a horrible tactic! Save my America! Don't be duped by such propaganda!
South Knox Bubba has exceptional words on this including this quote:
The Zogby poll ending Oct. 18th shows Bush 50.3% to Kerry 48.7% in Tennessee.
If it is truly that close then the News Sentinel article is really unfair to the democratic process.


The Orlando Sentinel has endorsed John Kerry for president
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This Morning
There is physically not enough time left this weekend for me to accomplish everything I need to do.

Saturday, October 23, 2004


Man I'm so torn right now. I want to do something selfish, I want to play with my eight year old (fix bike, sell popcorn, battleship), I want to work, and I want to clean the house.

Valdalism is NOT Freedom of Speech!

Give me my America back! The America I grew up in promoted Freedom of Speech and encouraged the discussion of opposing views.

The location of the two signs. The Bush sign sits on a corner lot with a lot of traffic. The Kerry sign is the corner house's neighbor on a lesser traveled street. Posted by Hello

This sums up the Republican attitude quite well for me. I feel the Republican party has turned quite Orwelling and has resorted to mob tactics, scare tactics and down right communistic behavior.

I know the valdalism has happened on both sides but my rant is beyond the specifics of this example. I began discussing the signs below with my 11 year old daughter.

Kerry Edwards with a W craved into it by vandals. Posted by Hello

Her math class did an exercise with bar graphs by counting the percentage of the class that was supporting each candidate. My daughter said she was supporting Bush so I took some time to put together a list of his accomplishments and failures (its since been overwritten by my daughter a Bush vandal?!). I opted to discuss politics with her. During a Girl Scount event the girls all said they were supporting Bush and my daughter jumped on the bandwagon. The main reason was that "Bush was cutier than Kerry." So I discussed with my daughter that your own opinion may not be the popular opinion but that is no reason to not express it.

The Bush Cheney sign sits undamaged. Posted by Hello

My daughter still sides with the Bush camp. I asked why and she responded with "because he can do a better job." I asked her to site some examples. I even fed them to her "he can do a better job of managing the nation's debt" "he can do a better job fighting terrorism" etc and all she could do is shrug. Our schools and government have brainwashed our kids!

I recounted for my daughter the failures of the last 4 years and the reasons I support Kerry. I noted the numerous relatives we have that are supporting Kerry. She is unmoved. So, you might ask, "How much effort should go into deprogramming an 11 year old?" 2 elections from now she will decide the president that will run my country. The deprogramming has to begin NOW! Our future is at stake! Now is when we choose to save democracy or give in to a communistic state.

The cold war ended and George W Bush was angered by that. GW wants the Cold War back and is disguising that as a war against terrorism. How much money, resources and lives were wasted on the Cold War? Why do we want it back?

Records and Experience
Bush Resume written from a former Bush supporter
Voter's Self-Defense Manual 2004 brought to us by
The Crawford Texas Newspaper endorses Kerry!
A New Day!

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This Morning
Ah! So quiet this morning! I wake at 6 to Noah's shuffling but he decides to play quietly in his room and I easily drift back into a deep sleep. What's that noise? Ring Ring Ring. Ah! The phone. I bound from the bed and with legs stretching like Plastic Man I make it across the house in 3 steps. "Umm.. I'm the last the one here and they like wanted me to call you." "Uuuhh. Who is this?" "Your daughter!" "Where are you?" "At the YMCA!" OH! That was better than coffee. Time? 7:25. 25 minutes late 15 minute drive. "Be right over in 10 minutes!"

Friday, October 22, 2004

Of Grasshoppers

Student: How can I be happy?
Master: Live the life you have not the life you imagine.


No poetry here for awhile. I think I'll point out two poems previously written that I think were slightly overlooked.

The first, The Need to Succeed, appeared on Aug 29 and I thought the hidden words were so obvious that comments would come quickly so quickly in fact I gave it only a day before posting, Of Expectations. After a great deal of time passed I went back and highlighted a few things in Of Expectations and connected the two poems with trackbacks.

I thought instead of pointing out there there was more to the poems than what you first see that I would write more and more of these until someone caught on but I haven't had the creative energy to keep it up. Don't go looking for anything earth shattering or life changing. It's not that deep!


From Salon: World to Americans: You're OK -- it's Bush we hate But if we reelect the least popular man on the planet, we could find ourselves being despised, too.

Because the United States exercises such decisive influence over the lives of everyone else on this planet, some foreign opinion leaders have begun suggesting that non-Americans should also be able to vote for who runs the United States.
if Americans vote Bush out on Nov. 2, it will signal the world that its affection for us is both recognized and reciprocated. And that -- to borrow a line from one of the movies that have made American culture so beloved around the world -- could be the start of a beautiful friendship

In the Men's Room

This work safe movie (must watch!) demonstrates why men's restrooms are more efficient than the ladies. For the ladies reference, there is a disposable travelaid "TravelMate" that disposes some of the concerns for lack of cleanliness described in Rowan's post by providing the same conveniences that the guys have. used to have a tutorial on 'How to Pee Standing'.

Ponderings of a Princess have a related discussion on whether or not peeing in the shower is ok right now. Thanks Tim!

A New Day!

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This Morning
Slept hard last night. Am struggling with being focused and productive today and not totally tripping out.

This is one of those days where I could really use a strong technical sales person working with me and a programming intern.

Thursday, October 21, 2004


So I jumped on the bandwagon and joined BlogExplosion! It really does generate traffic. Now I feel the overwhelming urge to take two days away from work, house and family and do all the redesign work on my blog that I've longed to do. I'll use Tim as my inspiration and role model for balance between work, family and blog!

Walking Sticks

If everyone carried walking sticks but not me, I would be shunned and medicated.
If everyone looked at the ground and you at the sky, I would ask, "What do you see?" If everyone carried walking sticks, I would ask, "What gives you strength?"
Do you keep their same gait? Or walking your own?

From the Mouths of Babes

While pointing at her toes, "Mamma paints Amy's toenails."

Of Grasshoppers

Student: When do the lessons end?
Master: When you accept that you are your own master and then the lessons do not end only the teacher changes.
A New Day!

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This Morning
Hard night last night. Tommy had a meltdown. I missed a call with a perspective client. I failed to get some css to work. I didn't get as much programming done as I wanted and I still feel achy.

Yesterday everything was clicking. I produced some more magical and beautiful code. I have an increase in prospects. I have had discussions with many people about getting Cathy, Amy and I insured. I'm getting ahead on the bills. Yesterday was a real positive day!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

If you search Google for "dodge trucks for girls uterus" I come up 2nd!

Money or Not

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
A New Day!

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This Morning
I was exercising with some dumb bells every morning (sometimes every other morning) and as dumb as this may sound my dumb bells disappeared.

I allowed myself to go to sleep at midnight last night and at 4am just couldn't pull myself from bed. I don't want to leave the house today. I just want to work on my computer all day long.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004


Alright. Did some magnificient programming.. the kind that is behind the scenes and really will never be appreciated for its elegance but I'm very happy with it. Got the family fed and am taking a few moments for myself then back to more programming.


Wahoo! I just did an INNER JOIN across two different servers!!

Pertent links:
Linking two servers
Heterogeneous queries require the ANSI_NULLS and ANSI_WARNINGS options to be set for the connection. This ensures consistent query semantics. Enable these options and then reissue your query.

Do you floss?

Does it pain you to floss? Do you hate sticking your fingers in your mouth or your childs mouth. BoingBoing makes us aware of a new flossing tool by Reach and best yet, for a limited time, it's free by filling out this form!
A New Day!

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This Morning
Beautiful rain today. Very heavy. Thunder boomers so loud and sharp that it sounded like it was on top of the house. I like the rain.

My eyes hurt and aren't focusing well. It's part sinus and part strain.

Grind grind grind.

Monday, October 18, 2004


This splash is well done! It's anti-Bush and has sound. Warning! The word "asshole" will come through your speakers several times and once you will hear "shit." But what a terrific presentation!

The comments lead to some other great links (funny as well as emotional):

Country Song: Takin' My Country Back
Musicians to Oust Bush
RealVoices with commercials such as The Children Left Behind
NYTimes: John Kerry for President
Bruce Bartlett, a domestic policy adviser to Ronald Reagan and a treasury official for the first President Bush, told me recently that "if Bush wins, there will be a civil war in the Republican Party starting on Nov. 3." This is a must read!
CIA Report on Iraq's WMD
List of wars crime et al (not so sure about this one. Didn't look deep enough to see how legit it was) (major dejavu right now!)

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I can't do it all!
Master: Do what you can.
A New Day!

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This Morning
Slept deep last night. Needed it badly. At one point a character on television screamed and I bolted from the bed with intent to check on the girls and the wife reeled me back in. I wonder if my first heartattack will be because of someone on television.

My throat is giving me warning signs that a sickness is coming. Ages ago I would have rushed off for some echinacea, vitamin c, a multivitamin and probably another supplement or two. Today I think I'll drink a little extra water and take the stairs intead of the elevator.

I really would like a day off.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Political - Splash

Here is the latest splash (spoof flash movie): Political Bohemian Rhapsody (WARNING! I don't know if it was a coincidence or not but my popup blocker went nuts around the time I closed that window) This one is average. I watched the whole thing and enjoyed it. Was never tempted to end it.


Programming on this beautiful day has been really slow going. I would have loved to have limited myself to 2 hours then worked on the yard or the garage. So frustrating!

About to switch to chef mode. After getting the kids down I will return to programming.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I need more time!
Master: Use the time you have more wisely.

Daughter, yes, Yoda is! Posted by Hello

Seeking Blow Jobs

According to my stats, people are wanting to search for Blow Jobs (work safe) again. Original post

Today's Lesson

How to Catch a Fly (no chopsticks required (amz))
A fly will tend to steer away from something approaching it in the exact opposite direction. In other words, it runs instead of dogging. So the best way to catch a fly is not to grab for it since it will just fly away from your hand. Instead uses these steps:
  1. reach over and beyond the fly.
  2. Next form your hand like a claw with fingers toward the floor and fingertips curled slightly toward your body.
  3. Your arm at this point will probably be fully extended and the fly between your body and hand. Rapidly draw your claw toward your body.
  4. The fly will instictively steer the opposite direction of the hand and fly toward you. Seeing the obsticle of the body it goes for height but the arm is there to block it. By the time it decides to go to the side you are closing your hand around it.
  5. Final step, dispose of the fly. This can be releasing it to the outside (or inside if you want to catch it again) or putting it out of your misery. You can throw a fly to the floor with enough force to render it unconscious. Warning! It will revive to annoy you with much ferocity.
Go forth great fly hunter and leave your chopsticks at home!

[Note: No actual flies were harmed in the making of this post.]

Everyone should read about Boris!

In Coolness

Boing Boing points out this cool and eerie silent crash test video. I think the coolest thing is that NASA tunred a 747 (I think that's a 747) into a remote controlled airplane! I want one!

Terror fears don't trump Constitution

What great news! Protesters can't be forced through metal detectors

Fears of a terrorist attack are not sufficient reason for authorities to search people at a protest, a federal appeals court has ruled, saying September 11, 2001, "cannot be the day liberty perished."
"We cannot simply suspend or restrict civil liberties until the War of Terror is over, because the War on Terror is unlikely ever to be truly over," Judge Gerald Tjoflat wrote for the three-member court. "September 11, 2001, already a day of immeasurable tragedy, cannot be the day liberty perished in this country."
there are steps the government can take to protect people from terrorism, "that doesn't mean we just dispense with the Bill of Rights as a consequence of 9/11."
Finally some semblance of the America I grew up in!

A New Day!

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This Morning
I went to bed depressed last night. I thought I was going to get some programming done yesterday and had I not opened a single piece of mail I probably would have put in a few hours.

To bring myself up this morning I tried a little self-indulgence then immediately felt guilty over it. Reward before effort is like giving the dog a treat then saying "sit." I still want to lean toward doing selfish things today.

I have about 3 days of work to get done today and today is shorter than normal since I agreed to take Tommy to D&D this evening.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

financial angst
political angst
spirital angst
sexual angst
social angst

4 consonants in a row. cool!


This has merit purely on the fact that they went with Bollywood another splash (I hereby declare splash to be a Spoof Flash movie). If it were any longer than it is I would not have watched the whole thing.


As the election nears, I think it is important to be reminded of our history, the reasons our country was formed, what freedom means and symbolism such as the American Flag.

I Am The Flag by Ruth Apperson Rous is exceptionally written.
A New Day!

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This Morning
I had the pleasure of sleeping in today (got up at 8am). It was incredible! Thank you wife!

Today my mind wants me to do 12 different things. I'm focusing on cleaning for the moment.

Search Engine Wars

The Google Destop has caused quite a stir. The Jason Calacanis Weblog is giving software away to show that there are better solutions.
Free *full-version* version of X1 software… much better than Google Desktop search. Value=$74.95!!!

Friday, October 15, 2004


President Horror Show Get ready to laught yourself to tears! Subtitles at the top of the page. Requires sound. Work safe.

From the mouths of babes

Amy upon noticing the Playstation joysticks in my office points and says, "The controllers! Noah's controller!" Then notes "da cat toy" and requests that it be put "up der" with the cat on the monitor. What fun conversation!
A New Day!

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This Morning
Friday! Should be a good day. Focus at work. Soccer in the evening. And plans to get many things done this weekend.

We are skipping Camp Buck Tom (see also) this weekend and I feel only a little badly about it. I am too stressed to enjoy it, the boys have been the last three times, and it is going to be fridge this weekend!

Time to work.


That's it! When you type zzzzss instead of code its time for sleep. The rain is lulling me away.

Tips Posted

I just made my first tips posts at Spy Journal Tech Tips and Spy Journal Blog Tips. Be sure to check them out!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Will Power

Wahoo! I'm at the computer instead of giving in to the bed!

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I'm not perfect.
Master: No, but that's a step in the right direction.

Search Engine Wars

My programming buddy Posted by Hello

From the mouths of babes

Upon waking from nap (far too soon), "Where are you Daddy?! Where are you?!"

From the mouths of babes

Amy did something and Cathy says, "You are for sale."
Amy retorts, "No! Mamma for sale!"

Ball dropping

Whew! I didn't realize how far I got behind on TN Lottery Results, it's blog, and it's sister blog this week! My apologies to the number seekers. I suppose I was a little disappointed over someone else claiming my $215 million.

Check out these numbers:
LOTTO 5 10/13/2004 05-15-19-33-38
LOTTO 5 10/8/2004 05-10-15-26-28

They seemed so similar I had to do a triple take.

Now, can anyone suggest why the above sites get a high ranking at msn search and yahoo search but fail to show up at all in google?
"Life only demands from you the strength you possess." --Dag Hammarskjöld

I must have been really strong at some point.


Ugh! Look at the date! The month flies by! Tis time to concentrate on bill paying.

Blogger Returns!

Whoa Mama! has surfaced!

Where was the truth?

Concerned that the debates twisted the truth?
CBS Fact Check with such great information as:
Bush got a laugh when he scoffed at Kerry's contention that he had received $84 from "a timber company." Said Bush, "I own a timber company? That's news to me."
In fact, according to his 2003 financial disclosure form, Bush does own part interest in "LSTF, LLC", a limited-liability company organized "for the purpose of the production of trees for commercial sales." (See "supporting documents" at right.)

Hopefully will have the 3rd debate posted soon.

Health Alert

Staring at women's breasts is good for men's health

Here's the newspaper clipping incase the image goes away:

An eyeful a day keeps the doctor away

STARING at women's breasts is good for men's health and makes them live longer, a new survey reveals.

Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym.

A five-year study of 200 men found tha those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties has lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful.

Dr Karen Weatherby, who carried out the German study, wrote in the New England Journal of Medicine: "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout.

"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation.

"There is no question that gazing at breasts makes men healthier.

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half.

"We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

There you have ladies! Help your man live longer and flash him periodically during the day. Shoot. Help a total stranger! Pick some unhealthy looking sot and pull that shirt over your head! Spread the word and soon we could have women all over the place helping to make sure your men stay healthy!

Amy is up, the dog needs a walk and I need to be programming. I need 3 of me!
A New Day!

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This Morning
I slept like a rock last night. Woke once or twice but could not pull myself from bed. I suppose I needed the sleep but its put me in a bit of a panic.

Nearly time to get the kids to school.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


I watched the debates. What more is there to say than that's an hour and a half of my life I can't get back and I should have been programming or standing on my head or something other than watching Bush declare his failed "No child left behind" program a success and Kerry try to back pedal from many missed Senate meetings/votes.

I think Kerry stood more presidential. I think Bush still comes across comical and shifty.
I am driving into the office and there is a huge rainbow in the sky. What does this mean! Oh the symbolism!


Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer
A New Day!

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This Morning
I woke at 12:30, 1:30, 2, 3, 4 and 6 last night. This has to stop!

I need a day off and a day of rest.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

A New Day!

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This Morning
Sleep at 2am woke at 4am but could not pull myself from bed. Got the kids going at 6:15 amidst several cat naps. Mentally and physically exhausted.

Time to clean!

The dryer is fixed!

Monday, October 11, 2004


Time to pause my working day. Shall resume tonight. I wish I could work as fast as I think.


I've been working on code all day but slipping in some of the other necessities for sanity. Since I won't be able to drive the soccer team tonight, the punctured tire had to be fixed. I ahve been unable to locate my rasp or glue for the past week and a half and finally remembered to buy one.

The tire is fixed! (at least the plug is in...we are pressure testing now).

The dryer is further dismantled.
Bought the belt and wheel replacement kit for the dryer and it came up 2 wheels short! I even questioned it at the store and the sales person insisted the dryer only had 2 rollers. I should have bought 2 more just to be safe. Ugh. Another hour needs to be spent driving around.
this is an audio post - click to play
I am trying to identify the tiny, shiny black spiders inside the dryer. Good Spider Myth Debunker!

So blurry!

My ability to focus on my work is being severely hampered (laundry pun) by my desire to work on the dryer!

I have decided to spend $25 more on the repair and replace all wheels and belts. Between the new wheels, belts and motor, this dryer should effective perform like a refurb and last several more years.

I need a full afternoon to complete the work plus an hour to go buy parts.

From the Mouths of Babes

"OOoh Dear! Oooh dear! I 'pilled on da paper!" in response to spilling her (Amy) juice on a butcher paper covered table.
Sometimes I feel like this guy (potentially offensive)

Superman has died

Christopher Reeve Dies

In the last week Reeve had developed a serious systemic infection from a pressure wound, a common complication for people living with paralysis. ... then fell into a coma and died Sunday at a hospital surrounded by his family, his publicist said. He was 52.
I was really hoping he'd beat this. I know. Unrealistic. The progress he'd made was incredible. He really was Superman (amz).

A New Day!

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This Morning
I finally gave up on the dryer about midnight. Woke again at 4am but could motivate myself out of bed beyond cleaning up the dog's stank. Realized the cat was awol (escaped while I was coming to and fro with the dryer parts) so I spent a few minutes calling her back into the house. The scared thing spent 4 hours on the outside!

I don't want to go to work today. I want to finish the dryer. I'm very close. All-in-all I've learned a whole bunch about dryers and things you can do to maintenance them and extend their lives; however, if I took my standard hourly rate and applied it to this learning lesson I probably could have just had one delivered and installed and foregone the lesson. They would have even hauled off the old one. On the plus side, I can repair the other one with relative easy based on what I have learned and Cathy can have two dryers.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Nobody ever said it would be this hard.
Master: You never asked.

Other finds

Here;s a "Force Feeback Programming Primer - for PC Gaming Peripherals Supporting I-Force 2.0 and Direct-X 5.0"

Ah! I found the stuff the mice liked!

Whew! 4:30 arrived and the dryer isn't fixed but the office is cleaner! Blogger still isn't accepting posts.


I've hit 1983!

The Lost Book

Sabrina I found your book.

Cleaning Freenzy!

To get the washer back in the house I've been forced to clean. I have madly been throwing out magazines and mail most dating back to 1998 although I have found some from 1991 and at least one reference from 1984. An archealogist would have a hayday with this pile of rubbish.

I have gotten good at this and even thrown out college course work and my Cobol manual!

It is refreahing to put some more of my past behind me. It helps to move forward when you aren't anchored by the past.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Why does the dog bark?
Master: It knows no better way to communicate.
A New Day!

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This Morning
I have a week's worth of work I'd like to do today. My desires are home repair (mine and a friends) and lawn work as well as personal programming and business programming. I recognize this as an evil way to start the day so I am going to focus. My only interest right now is the dryer. If it takes an hour I can do more. If it takes all day so be it!

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Took Molly to PetSmart. I now feel like the leaning tower and my left arm is longer than the right. It was a fun trip.

Show and Sell

What a day so far! The morning was spent trying to get out for the afternoon. The girl scouts had their first meeting at their new location and to get Amy and Molly to the inlaws I followed Cathy to the location then did some Walmart shopping then dropped Amy and Molly off then Noah and I rushed home to sell popcorn to raise money for the boy scouts.

Today has been like trying to read a book inside a tornado and there is more fun to be had!
this is an audio post - click to play
A New Day!

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This Morning
Crashed hard last night like a plane shot from the sky. Why say some so horrible?! Because I fell asleep while watching The History Channel's "Conspiracy?: TWA Flight 800" Much needed very deep sleep!

I actually watched the last 30 minutes of the presidential debate. I would have enjoyed seeing the whole thing. These two certainly presented themselves more...presidentially...than their running mates. My favorite part was when Bush made reference to No Child Left Behind and Kerry rebutes that "millions have been left behind." No Child Left Behind has done nothing!

It giles me that they can stand up there and spout spin and unless you are educated on the issues you have no way to know whether or not they are lying. I was waiting with bated breath for Kerry to reference land in the Great Smoky Mountians National Park that was returned to the Cherokee Indians for schools (which will one day become casios). The reference never came (I can't find a link..anyone have one?).

Time for a hectic day. We have a neighborhood yardsale going on today (not participating). I wonder how its doing?

Friday, October 08, 2004

Exceptional soccer tonight! Time to chill for a few then get back to work.

Wired in a Calm Way

The juggling went ok. I should have had my microphone. That was a mistake not bringing it. I'm on edge about all the traffic rules now. The ticket incident hasn't made me a better driver but I'm cop phobic now. Paranoid in a delusion sense that they are "out to get me."

I'm calm on the outside and jittery on the inside. Must take a couple of minutes of meditation.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I have too much to do today!
Master: You have exactly one day's worth of doing to do today.

Amy Speaks

At some point I need to record her saying this: "Ewwww! Molly pewped!"

Cats are funny

This cat has been repeating this same 1 minute video clip (0:54 2.3MB) for the past hour. Apparently her sister is on the other side of the glass just watching with amusement.


I'm totally tripped out. To the point of dysfunctionality. I'm having a hard time kicking this.

Today is my major deadline and I'm not sure that the s/w is there.

Today I have a juggling performance that I am totally unprepared for. I wanted new material and I'll be lucky to get by with the old, stagnant material.

Tonight I have 3 things plated that need to happen at once.

Tomorrow will be hellish.

On Sunday could I rest?!
A New Day!

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This Morning
Stress and anxiety are off the charts! Yesterday I gave Tommy an over the top verbal lashing unnecessarily. He had done wrong but it should have been ignored.

Today is going to be hard. I'm overcommitted and its going to make me need to be committed.

Thursday, October 07, 2004


I could give into sleep right now or I could drive on and get some work done. I shall work!

Happy Birthday Tim!

Cheers to Jethro at SpyJournal on his special day today!

Tech - Security for Middleware

The ColdFusion Developer's Journal has published the Top 10 Web Security Tips. Although this is written using ColdFusion references, the concepts are applicable to PHP, Asp, etc. For serious web application programmers this is a must read!
  1. Have an Error Handler
  2. Prevent Cross-Site Scripting
  3. Remove Dangerous Characters
  4. Prevent Fake Form Submits
  5. Stop Unauthorized Data Mining
  6. Validate Parameters and Prevent SQL Injection Attacks
  7. Use Server-Side Validation to Back Up Client-Side Validation
  8. Harden Your Logon Code
  9. Prevent Timeout Client/Session Backdoors
  10. Avoid Trojan Horse Uploads

Time Flies

I have been meaning to give a friend this list of links since July. Time flies and so many things drop through the cracks when you have 10,000 action items. So, I cannot lay hands on my friend's email address at the moment and I know she peaks in here so here are the links (better late than never): has lots of checklist and fact sheets if you click "information" in the left column

My wife, the wealth of information, actually deserves the credit for referring those links.

Sorry for the delay.


A Moment of Weakness
A moment of weakness
   turns into an endless wait.
The endless weight becomes
   a therapuetic philosophy session.
A moment of weakness
   turns into a powerful strengthening.
--DM 3/99

A New Day!

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This Morning
That fluttering in my lower right chest cavity is already going to town today and I've had no caffiene. I failed to pull any of the anticipated overtime on this current project. Not only has that set us behind, it's like turning down free money! I'm so irritated with myself.

Today is my family's day at the Appalachian Homecoming. I will miss it because I did not work hard enough.
The Homecoming is a celebration of the culture and heritage of Appalachian pioneer, mountain, and rural life. Mountain, folk, hymn, bluegrass, and traditional music will fill the air each day, from four stages, from cabin porches, from the log church, and from shady spots throughout the complex.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I can't stop thinking about this bad thing I did.
Master: If you think about it enough will it become good?

A sign, er, card

I had the pleasure of a phone call from someone that found my business card on a board at TCBY. I had forgotten I'd placed it there! I was able to solve their problem in a few minutes on the phone gratis. Hopefully it will come back around.


Well now. I was having a very surreal moment at the office and emailed a post that went to the ether. How funny.

Quality Programming rule #1: If you are not given a spec, write your own. I broke this rule on my current project. Today I fixed the problem and it both sent me reeling as well as gave a definite end to the work. There is much to accomplish in a very brief time.

I am going to sit down and spend a few minutes each day writing, reviewing, and revising specs on the projects I am and want to do both personal and professional. It makes all the difference in the world!

Amy Speaks

Amy says, "Save us from the evil poop Daddy!" Apparently the dog had an accident.

She followed it shortly with "bad hair day."

He got respect

Rodney Dangerfield has passed away. His spirit was overheard saying, "I met St Peter and asked, 'so are you letting me in?' and St Peter replied, 'Like Hell!' I never knew Heaven and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences were run by the same people. I get no respect!"

A New Day!

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This Morning
Woke at 4am and could not get myself out of bed. I slept like a rock! I needed the sleep as badly as I needed to be working.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Once a good man always a good man?
Master: If you are feeling evil, perhaps it was always there.


Actually pulled myself from bed for a 2am-5am programming stint! Got some cleaning in also as I started through a pile of old mail and had fun trashing ads mailed to me in 2002.

Time for a quick nap.

The Eagle Has Landed

"Gordon Cooper, who was the youngest and perhaps cockiest member of the original seven Mercury astronauts and set the space endurance record that helped clear the way for the first moon landing, has died. He was 77." [from]


And the boy stumbled upon where the crowd gathered in silence. They held the limp body of the Genie above their heads and with sadness and confusion declared, "We killed him and the nightmare did not fade." The boy fell to knees with anguish in his face and tears pouring from his eyes. "You fools! You killed the wrong beast for this is MY dream!" The boy momentarily collapsed until an unusual calm beset him. He slowly rose to his feet and there stood the Man. "It is my dream. And it is still alive!"

Let It Begin

Up and working but I'd rather be sleeping.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Sunset at tonight's soccer practice. This was from a camera phone. I wish I had the good camera with me! Of course, the funny thing is that was over Oak Ridge so it could have been a sunset or a nuclear meltdown. Posted by Hello

An End

Actress Janet Leigh Dies at 77. No screams heard. No knife found.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: How much fight can one man have in him?
Master: When you draw your last breath there is no more fight.


After spending some relaxing moments admiring his work, the boy left the oasis with an optimism that the rest of the world could be brought around. He could repair his damage. As he stepped from the calm of the oasis and laid eyes on the rest of the world. It began to spin. His stomach knotted. His head grew light. The tasks ahead are formidable!

A New Day!

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This Morning
I went to bed last night with that fluttering in my lower right side just at the base of my rib cage. My heart seemed to race. I am anxious to see more progress on the house, the programming, financial stability and health insurance. I am torn between going into the office to work today and staying home to swing my shift and spend the morning fixing the dryer and the afternoon/evening programming. My gut says that won't work.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Tim's New Look

Check out the new Spy Journal Personal. Tim has also lauched Spy Journal Excel Tips. Excellent work Tim!

Magic Space

I had planned on spending the day programming and practicing juggling. Missed on both accounts. BUT I did spend the day cleaning my garage. The intent was to clean the office so that I could move one busted dryer out and move another busted dryer in. How did we end up in the garage? Well, the trash from the office has to go somewhere! The driveway had become so messy that a person could hardly walk through it. Now it is clear and the retaining has shelves to hold all the gardening suppies. That clear driveway gave me the ability to pull a bunch of stuff from the garage and in the process threw many things away! I swept then looked at the space. Took some lumber that was doing nothing (oak I think) and used some cinder blocks for some make shift shelves. Put everything back in and was left with this great vaccuum in the middle! The kids bikes should fit in the garage now!

I wish I could take the rest of this week and just clean.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: How did my garage get so messy?
Master: You horde instead of share.


And the boy in his nakedness wandered out into the chaos. There he found a shimmering oasis but it was defiled with trash and remnants of the mobs which had come for the boy and instead took the Genie. His eyes began to tear with regret and a ray of sunshine beamed through the clouds. The boy acted upon a sudden inspiration and attacked the oasis with vigor and vim and began a cleaning frenzy. A breeze blows and the boy feels a burden begin to lift from his shoulders.

Withdrawal Symptoms - ?:??

this is an audio post - click to play

Explosion - ?:??

this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Why do bad things happen to good people?
Master: Bad things happen to all people. Good things also happen to all people.

What got me so down?

Sarah has a lock-in at the school. I went to pick her up at midnight and noted a police officer speed trapping (a practice I feel is a waste of tax payer's money--follow anyone long enough and they are going to do something wrong). I pick up Sarah and we are having great father/daughter chat, laughs and good quality time. Turn on the blue lights to ruin the mood. Oh. Sarah is in the front seat which is a no-no at her age and she says, "Should I move?" to which I said, "no" of course. Officer comes to the car and explains that I ran a 4-way stop. It's after midnight and the stop sign he is referring to is on a two lane road. No other cars around. He says I slowed but did not stop which I may have did a rolling stop but I put no one in harms way because there were no cars on the road! I am a victom of some young punk cop trying to fill a quota. I wouldn't be so upset about it if I didn't feel completely victomized.

Here's the rub. It's only a $15 ticket. BUT there are $83.50 pre-court charges so the total comes to $98.50. That's the hundred dollars I needed to fix the dryer. I don't exactly have money to be pissing away on some cop trying to make big numbers. It gets worse. TN has a point system. If you lose 12 points off your license then your license can be revoked. This fool stop sign is worth 4 points! If I am going to lose a third of the points off my license I want to be racing to some meeting that I'm late to and blatantly run some red light at a major intersection!

I am a good driver. I'm alert and have great reflexes. I drive a little fast but mostly obey all other laws (Sarah in the front seat is where I fudge). I pull over for emergency vehicles while watching others just stop in the road. I see moronic behavior go up punished on the road while I am reamed for a traffic violation at a time of night when all the rules should change anyway.

I was in such a good mood. Sarah and I were having such good talk. Cathy and I were planning on lounging in bed and sharing laughs. This moron that didn't have the decency to let me off with a warning (which is what post-midnight at that intersection should have been) had nothing but negative effects on me. He did not make me a better or more cautious driver as I spent most of my day lead footing it in anger. I drove distracted as I kept fretting over and over the situation. My productivity today was killed because I had no energy and lost all cares and couldn't get my mind off of how to handle this. I decided no longer to freely volunteer any time to Knoxville. That means no more free juggling shows no matter how good the cause. There was no positive to come from this but to pad the KPDs budget.

So, what do I do? On Monday do I requistion the squard car's video tape to see how badly I did or did not run the sign? Or does that preserve evidence that otherwise would be discarded? Do I just pay the fine and watch my insurance rates go through the roof? Do I go to court and if I do what do I plead? Guilty? Not Guilty? No content? The sick thing here is even if I was innocent it still would cost me $200 or more to prove it. The police could randomly hand out false tickets and make a profit.

Why wasn't this twit out making our city safer instead of harassing good people?

Amy Speaks

Amy just came up to me asking for a "Hambone." Took me a minute. She wanted a hairbow. Hair bows are pretty serious. It means that Amy is very happy. She takes them out when she is not happy. The picking of the hair bow is critical. Although her drawer contains more than a dozen she gets it in her mind that a particular bow is the one to wear and she will dig and dig and search and search until she finds just the right one. It is really a fun activity.

Amy Speaks (of Scooby) - ?:??

this is an audio post - click to play

Incomplete List of Broken Things

two dryers, Jeep exhaust system (could be manifold, muffler and/or catalytic converter), car tie rods (possibly cv joints), car tire, garage door, air conditioner, Sarah's scooter, Tommy's scooter, yard, dog's bladder, kitchen cabinets, driveway, Noah's ant farm, all computers, drywall, downstairs bathroom, upstairs bathroom flooring, upstairs bathroom caulk, Tommy's bed, wood floors, Tommy's bicycle, Sarah's bicycle, Noah's bicycle, DVD player, my office, fire extinguisher

My spirit.

Yesterday I was happy

Yesterday I was high on life. Everything looked like it was going well and going to come together. Today I hate where I live, how I live and why I live.

I have a charitable event that I do on Friday Oct 8th. That ends my community support for this shit town. I understand why everyone hates Knoxville after 2 decades. I came here for college and tried to help my friends that grew up here understand that this is a great community but inevitably after 2 decades everyone gets fed up and leaves. Once retired, people come back. It's a good place to retire because then you probably have less than 2 decades in you and can put up with the crap until you die.

I've had my two decades of this place. I give up!


And the boy stood naked in the window looking out over evil, distruction, and chaos. He could see no good. It is unsafe. How could he even begin to think of stepping out into such a world? His Genie is out there! His recently found self-confidence is sucked from him leaving a pit in the boy's stomach. He turns his back on the world to see his room, safe, secure, isolated; and he moons the outside.

It's too much

I feel so beat down that I don't have words. How many kicks does this dog have to take?

Friday, October 01, 2004

Few Words

Not being able to blog while I work except by cell phone is cramping my style!

Today was a huge deadline. Got a week extension so my stressed dropped hugely. I'm real focused right now.

Noah had a great soccer practice. I really like this new league we are in. Amy rolled in a pile of sand as if she was at the beach. Tommy joined her. They are frequently at the same mentality.

Time to catch my breath and eat something.