Update Your Science Books

Your kids will be learning some fundamentals a little differently than you. That is, every school in the country is going to have to do some quick updating and adults are going to have a hard time with this. That's right.. Our solar system has ten planets not nine!

1. Mercury
2. Venus
3. Earth
4. Mars
5. Jupiter
6. Saturn
7. Uranus
8. Neptune
9. Pluto (maybe not a planet?)
10. Xena [warrior princess] (temporary name is 2003 UB313)

Thanks to Boing Boing for the headsup.

Today I am happy...

...because tonight I get to sleep in my bed!

see Big Orange Michael and The August Challenge

Funny that. Lots of scouts at mcdonalds

Lunch

More weapons

Noah does flag ceremony for the entire camp

Checking out

Our check out paperwork is lost

On the road

Eating ice cream and cake

Making ice cream.

Flags up

Hot shower time. Left the jeep windows off last night.

A different child chatters. Water between tent and ground cover.

And the sky opens

Rain stopped so i could check on child. Child misses parents.

Harder rain. A child cries.

Rain

If i was smart i would break camp while its dry and sleep in the jeep. Too tired.

Thunderstorm brewing

Good night.

Good night.

Kids wiped. Sleeping.

My sunburn is really letting itself be known right now

Noah seems content to sit by himself. Bothers me but he seems happy.

The stage

Skit time.

On 1 hour free time before council fire

Found the secret mens room and had two hot showers. Thats better than i do at home!

Noah building a uniform rack. Determined to use his new knife.

Tool time.

Noah hands for friends body

Skit time

Latrine

Bolo

Boys urinal

Cooking tacos for lunch

Noah bored with ham radio

Boys upon settling (resend)

My hotel room

Heavens-above.com tells your when you can look up and see the international space station

Floating finger science

Talking to scouts in california and new jersey

The new boyscouts

The day begins

First bad wetting that i had to deal with. Not noah. Not me.

The judges eat

Hotter

Boys tent

Book ends wood stain leather project

For the judges

Cooking cobbler

I meant to add that it is 90f 36c

Fire starts. Yes of course that is noah.

More weapons

Knife fighting

Floating

Noah takes instruction

Noah working with leather

Snow cone break

Noah and i had our swim tests this morning. Just before the test i ran up hill to the campsite one quarter mile. The test was to swim 75 yards then 25 yards back stroke. Noah did great!

Learning about tulip poplar

Learning forestry

Noah looks wiped

Orientation

Sunk one:

Scout navy

Showered and heading to breakfast. Everyone in our camp survived the night.

First hysterical "i cant sleep!" child issue abated.

Apparently i pitched my tent on a slight slope. This should make for some interesting dreams.

Normally i pack energy bars but we brought no snacks. Dont have to fight raccoons but man am i hungry!

Lesson one: should have brought my life jacket

Noahs dinner: a roll and some cake because he refused the bbq and beans. Guess i should have brought snacks.

Today I am happy...

...because all my clients are happy.

see Big Orange Michael

Mornings are good for work

It's 2:15am and I have a full head of steam. I love working at this time of day/night! I only wish I had the stamina to do it more frequently.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I spoke without thinking.
Master: And it was funny!

Names on my brain

Suzanne Summers, Jeff Summers, Christine Remenyik, Courtney Brenner, Patricia Sothman Vinyard, Keith Myers

Today I am happy...

...because I am committing an hour and a half to my own site development.

see Big Orange Michael

Be a man! Wear a kilt!

Looking for the next fashion trend for men? Check out Utilikilt! Note that for an extra $25 you can get them with the "beer gut cut." I got have one of these just to embarass the kids! (yes, I'm straight, und disscended fram da highlands! ...apparently) Perhaps if I get rid of half my tees Cathy will let me have one.

Reasons to wear a Utilikilt:
Company's Top 10
Customer Top 100

"Utilikilts for Every Occasion...Except Bungee Jumping"

The Rocky Top Brigade Returns!

The Rocky Top Brigade has returned and I am quite tickled to see that it has been written with ColdFusion (my personal favorite)!

Kudos to Barry, Thomas, CYBob, Johnny, Rich, and SayUncle and any other Brigaders involved.

Names on my brain

Right now I'm thinking about: Doug Thorton and Dietrich
Earlier I was thinking about: Stu and Lee Ann Monty

What's your abacus?

I use extreme tracking to get a vague idea of how many visitors come to this blog. I use it because its free and the numbers although entertaining are not all together that important. I really do enjoy seeing the referer information although of late Google Images has been a little too hung up on C-span boobies. I may just have to take that picture down!

Since I don't host this site I don't have the luxury of having the native logs. What do you use for tracking visitors?

How does your wife plan on killing you?

We are all doomed to die. When we get married, men drastically reduce their potential for long life. The cause of death is always the same: the wife. Mine is doing a combination job. Her primarily focus is the "heart attack" and the catalyst will be falling down the stairs. The motive: unknown, I think it's simply in their genes.

We have all heard that married men live longer. This is true simply because single people get to play harder, party harder, take harder drugs and live more dangerously; ergo, they bite the bullet much sooner than married men.

A popular approach is to overstress the simple mind of the man.

Woman (from another room): Honey, could you get my keys from the table?
Man: Yes, dear. I don't see them on the table.
Woman: They are right there.
Man: No they aren't.
Woman: Yes they are. I left them there last night.
Man: Well they must have gone for a drive last night because they aren't here now.
Woman (stomping into room, immediately picks keys up from chair): See, they are right here!

It will take that man several hours and several beers to recover from the incident. He will never understand it.

Another classic man killer is the "correct decision" as exemplified:

Man: Honey, what do you want to do for dinner?
Woman: I don't know.
Man: Do you want to me to cook something or go out to a restaurant?
Woman: You decide.
Man: I'm really indifferent tonight. Let's do something that you want.
Woman: Ok. Let's go to Calhoun's or stay home and cook steaks.

Ah! Notice how the man gets stuck with the decision. Should it turn out well then the woman can take credit for making a good choice. Should it turn out poorly then the man can be thoroughly beat down. Now how could such a similar choice as Calhoun's and steak at home go wrong? For one, if the woman has already made the decision but is simply testing his telepathic ability to read her thoughts then the man is dead meat because we all know that stress scrambles telepathic reception and this poor guy is already on his way to a coronary and that is before we add in the night's cholesterol. Now another way it could go wrong is that if the man chooses to cook at home but makes the horrid mistake of leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen. Of course a third method of diaster awaits at the restaurant in any combination of potential conversation flubs, staring at waitresses, over-reacting to the bill, under tipping and so forth.

The arsenal of psychological man killers that women hold is boundless and grows with each paired trip to the bathroom. The bathroom is the secret communications hub of women by which all psychological warfare originates. Secrets can be whispered there. They are always in pairs to watch each others backs. The mirrors over the sinks convert into large video conferencing screens by which new successful tactics can be transmitted to thousands of bathrooms around the world simultaneously! Men, we cannot fight this. They are too numerous, too organized and far too experienced. Accept your fate. Nuture what you have left.

Women by nature need to seek companionship. Once companionship is achieved they lose focus for that energy. They begin to miss the chase. They become resentful toward the person who took away their ability to "seek companionship" simply by becoming their companion. Due to utter contempt toward this person, the woman begins to subtly create this person's exodus. And this is why men die so much sooner than women.

The race cometh August 6th

"Mister, wanna buy my duck?"

The Great Knoxville Rubber Duck Race will be a one mile race with approximately 40,000 to 50,000 Rubber Ducks competing for over $40,000 in prizes to benefit the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Tennessee Valley, which serves over 7,800 children in Knox Co., Scott Co., Blount Co., and Loudon Co.

Race schedule, pictures from last year, and online adoption form

Russia’s Biggest Spammer Brutally Murdered in Apartment

Irritate enough people... story here

Redneck Probation

Wow! The Jeep is so quiet I felt like something was wrong! I should have recorded the before and after as a sound bite for the blog. The new Jeep makes me feel like I'm driving with cotton balls in my ears! The old Jeep would make a Harley owner grimmace in disgust at the noise.

I have definitely lost some of my redneck status today. On the positive side, I'm not such an embarassment to my family anymore. Now a new rag top and a wash n wax would make the toy seem like brand new!

Today I am happy...

...because the Jeep is getting a new catalytic converter and exhaust pipe.

see Big Orange Michael

Good day to watch

Should be some good camera action. I anticipate that at some point today my head will explode. Prior to that my brain could possibly dribble from my ear.

Subtle Tribute to Gene Wilder

Did anyone watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory catch the nod to Gene Wilder in the very beginning of the movie? When Charlie puts the final piece on his model, Wonka's cane is stuck in the ground but not touching Wonka's hand.

Doth I read too much into it?

I love finding allusions to the previous movies and cameos within the remade film.

A Golden Ticket!

We actually got 8 golden tickets! We went to the Chocolate Factory! I have to say Depp did very well. The movie was most enjoyable. More later...

Wow! Keyboard of my dreams

When the Apple //c came out it had a cool switch that would alter the keyboard from QWERTY (your standard keyboard...look at the 6 upper-leftmost keys) to a Dvorak layout. The only problem was there was not a reference to what key's function was at that point. Had they given you an overlay, or printed letters on the keys in a different color, or used lights to show different letters on the screen (my thought at the time) I think the Dvorak keyboard would have had a much better chance of becoming mainstream. (Is this Dvorak related to August?) (Interesting read)

Spy Journal Tech Tips now brings us reference to Geektronica's post about the optimus keyboard. It's not shaped like a natural keyboard but I still want one even more than I want das keyboard or the DX1 Input System.

Overdue Thank yous

Another Grasshopper 

Friendly Visit

I have some much overdue thanks to give. Three weeks ago, a good friend and reader of this blog came over for an extremely pleasant visit. She brought with her some amazing food which was both timely and better than anything I prepare. The wife and I were very grateful!

She also brought with her some fantastic gifts for which I need to get some pictures uploaded. She really put some time into preparing for her visit and I cannot thank her enough!

This friend has known me longer than nearly anyone else that I can bring to mind. We used to go to the theatre together in college quite frequently. Good memories there! Of course, she has all the ammunition that would keep me out of politics.

Littlest Grasshopper 

Meaningful Gift

My brother and his wife are the best shoppers in the world. Often I have thought that if not for them my children would run around naked. We recently receive a care package with an item of hidden meaning. You can see it pictured on Amy above and Evan to the right. Amy will seek it out and announce, "I'm wearing Eban's(sic) hat!"

They always get such great clothing for the kids. Many thanks! Keep on shopping :)

We found the hat quite amusing. Evan is getting much "hidden meaning" clothing. He also owns a bib that reads, "Little Peanut."

From the mouths of babes

Amy (3): I'm running away.
Dad: Where are you going?
Amy: To the ballet.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Too negative?
Master: Positively!

Leave My Clock Alone!

Just incase you missed it, the morons on The Hill decided to extend daylight saving time by four weeks as part of a sweeping energy bill.

one of the sponsors, said, "The beauty of daylight savings time is that it just makes everyone feel sunnier."

What drugs are these people on?!

Under the measure, clocks would be turned forward an hour on the second Sunday of March and turned back the first Sunday of November. Currently, daylight saving time runs from the first Sunday in April to the last Sunday in October. The extension would become effective one year after the enactment of the energy bill.

De-jitter

Time to cut way back on the caffeine again. I before e except after c and in stimulants which is just plain weird.

Fun with GoogleMaps

Nazis in California

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I want things I could never have.
Master: If you could have them, would you want those things?

Beamed Up

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- James Doohan, the burly chief engineer of the Starship Enterprise in the original "Star Trek" TV series and motion pictures who responded to the command "Beam me up, Scotty," died early Wednesday. He was 85. Looking like its getting more difficult to crew the Enterprise for a new movie (2007). (see also and also)

Art Imitates Life

Peter Griffin

Feelin' Groovy

Today I'm feeling quite at ease. Looks like things are going to go well.

Wow! I finished something!

I just finished a project. This is going to be a technical showcase piece for me. Valid css, valid html, very semantic, well documented, database driven, client front-end, client backend (password protected area), employee backend, with a shopping cart. I'm quite pleased although I could continue tweaking it until days end (such is the way of a perfectionist). I don't often find it appropriate to blog work related items. Work like this comes to me by designers that have worked with their clients to create the desired look and feel and a light specification. I then take that artwork and turn it into the html layout, build the database design, tighten up the specification and so forth to create a functioning web application. Much fun!

Big News

South Knox Bubba has stopped blogging.

Zombie, I

I always thought I'd be dead at 35.
I never thought I'd still be breathing.

One chance

Once upon a time
I was feeling fine
Delusioned, crazed
And heart ablaze

What ruined me?
Visa, Mastercard
"Charge please"

What was my downfall?
The need to please.

What brought me to my knees?
Caffeine
Simulated ADHD.

And how did I cope?
Fraternization
And fermentation.

What now?
I break
I've broke.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I am terribly stressed.
Master: You choose to be stressed.

More Webcam!

James of Puerilis has turned his webcam back on.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Subtle
Master: Art

How I Often Feel

Apparently James and I share similar feelings.

I sure could use a cup of hot coffee

Next time someone at the office says they "need a cup of hot coffee" sue them for sexual harassment!

"cup of hot coffee" -- a euphemism for sex

Looks like Joseph Lieberman and Hillary Rodham Clinton are jumping on the censorship bandwagon. What happened to the "inform the parents and let them make decisions for their children" bandwagon? The government really should not be dictating morals for me nor should they be trying to raise my kids.

Thanks to Appalachistan for the link!

In Perspective

Postcards from Hell's Kitchen gives us a good picture of the Republican Party.

Best Practices Good / Sometimes Change Is Good

I have this naming convention for changes. I create a folder "perclientname" so I might have folders for "perdoug" "persusan" etc. I have a client now named rick. I'm changing my naming convention.

I will die

I'm not sure why they want to speed the process along. I mean, I don't have a good life insurance policy or something beneficial. But I am quite certainly my family is making a calculated effort at trying to give me a heart attack.

Today's thought

Abraham Lincoln’s famous self-instruction: “I do not like that man; therefore I shall get to know him better.”

Whether or not ol' Abe ever said that is irrelevant. What great advice!

Mentorship - Good for the soul

Found out one of my mentors from college occasionally blogs. He and another (works for HP now I think), whose site is not coming up at the time of this post, were more influential to me personally and professionally than they will ever know.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Do you ponder death?
Master: I ponder life.

Of Grasshoppers

Student: I made a mistake.
Master: Will you do it again?

Quote of the Day

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

Courtesy of iWon

Eminent Domain

Medium Large comic

Link courtesy of My Likes and Dislikes

Anti-spy

I advocate the use of Lavasoft's Adaware (I've gone so far as to become a reseller of their Plus version). I also highly recommend Spybot Search N Destroy. I have always been very wary of other programs as potential trojans claiming that they are scanning when in reality they are installing or removing all but their own adware or spyware. I just found a fantastic list of such evil programs. I know nothing about spywarewarrior but this list will be read by me quite a bit now.

Finding Opportunities

Finding time to do all the things that need to get done and want to get done isn't easy. Usually weekends need to be spent on family and home maintenance. Cathy and I have discussed expanding the kids horizons with experiences such as PYO farms. Kids need experiences to grow. Often we write off a weekend in the name of getting things done. Forgetting that our children don't care about work and responsibility is inexcusable. Finding the time to help them experience people, places and things other than a Playstation, television or Internet chat is essential.

More on the Wayback Machine

Here's an interesting read.

Universal Conservation of Knowledge

I was having a conversation with my brother-in-law when it suddenly dawned on me that I'm growing stupid. See, I used to have a fairly decent grasp of the English language with good spelling skills and proper grammar. In our conversation I accidentally used the word "immigrating" when I meant "emigrating." After enduring the mandatory southern education joke I had the following epiphany:

I blame the kids.

See. I used to spel gooder had decent grammer and what not. But I never realized that when they say "knowledge is gained" that they really meant it. See I thought "knowledge is gained" meant if you study hard you will "learn" but apparently there is a conservation of knowledge in the universe. So as one person gains knowledge, others must give it up. Kids gain knowledge at such a rapid rate that parents come across as babbling idiots. Society blames it on them "being tired" when in reality they have truly become "babbling idiots" which also explains why teenagers feel that they know more than their parents; in all likelihood, they do.

With the number of kids we have at the age ranges and the gross knowledge transfer, Cathy and I are lucky that we are smart enough to get out of bed in the morning.

This also explains why there will always be someone dumber than yourself that you have to deal with unless of course you just happen to be the dumbest person in the universe in which case your best friend is probably a rock.

Outlawing Google?

Canada is trying to pass a law that could make Google and The Wayback Machine illegal.

Thanks to My Likes and Dislikes for the link.

Anxiety Attack

I woke this morning at 5:30. I was calm and well rested. Then my mind kicked in and realized that I had not intended to sleep. Then it worked up. Instead of rationally getting up and starting my day the panic grew. I had to lie in bed and work through it but it worsened so I hid. My mind retreated to sleep where my panic controlled my dreams. An hour and a half later I woke again with tension still in my chest; my heart feeling like it beats softer; my lungs incapable of taking a full breath.

I have a love/hate of the panic attacks. I have them infrequently now-a-days. I know they are irrational. I know they are counter-productive. I should be able to subdue them. The affect on the mind and body is almost similar to how one would feel after a hard workout or thrill seeking like parachuting or rappelling. I suppose there is an actual adrenaline rush which would explain that feeling.

Time to brew some coffee and try to make up for lost time. Type faster! Faster!

I wish I had a video camera!

I just witnessed the funniest thing!

Cathy just finished breast feeding Evan and Evan was staring up at Noah just studying his face. Cathy was watching the two and her breast was still uncovered. Amy had been singing and laughing and jumping on the couch beside Cathy and with an ear to ear grin in that chipper sweet voice cheerily squealed "squuuueeeeze!" and simultaneously grabbed the bare breast.

The look on Cathy's face and the grin on Amy's was priceless!

Of Grasshoppers

Student: Why hate?
Master: No love.

Deprecated -- GMail Invitations

GMail invitations are now pointless.

Iggy Pop (age 58) speaks on NPR's Fresh Air with Terry Gross

Iggy Pop is a straight shooter telling exactly how he feels. I caught his interview on NPR's Fresh Air and couldn't quit listening. I've always been a Iggy fan. He tells some great stories!

Cool Picture of the Day - Who makes your GPS?

The techies will enjoy this picture of the inside of a Garmin GPS.

Far too much sleep!

I woke at 2:30am and lacked the will power to stay up. Ugh!

In the wrong?

So, on a different philosophical question, I now wonder if it was wrong of me to post the reply to an email I sent. This will require some thinking. At the time of posting I thought it only fair that since people saw the initial message that they also see the reply. The reply had additional information which justified the actions of 3GuysHosting. South Knox Bubba posted entire exchanges between SKB and Brian Conley. Enron email became public. But are these types of publications out of bounds? Can email not be sent with the assumption that the world is going to read it? If I sent a letter by postal mail the same thing could happen. The recipient could publish the letter in a newspaper or produce copies and distribute them.

Too much thinking before coffee. Time to brew!

The only secret kept is the one not spoken.

De neh neh NA na naa knee NAAa NA na NAAA na NAH!

Cooter's Place, a "Dukes" memorabilia shop in Gatlinburg, Tenn is owned by none other than Cooter himself! (who abbreviates Tenneessee Tenn anymore?) He runs the website Cooter's Place where he advises against seeing the Dukes of Hazzard movie due to profanity and sexual content.

Excellent! 3GuysHosting responded!

I would have not have expected a response. Mike Quinlan responds to my earlier email pointing out that he bought the domain rather than forcefully shutting the site down; however, he continues to say that had the site been one of his customers he would have done the same thing.

Mr. McCaughan,


Did you have the joy of seeing Mr. Crook's site before you sent this to me? Just in case you didn't here are a couple quotes for you:

Our problem is this: the military is a lifestyle these morons chose. What idiot risks their life for a country? It's what they chose. Forsake our Troops! They must think that if they go to war, they don't need to pay taxes just......just like the rest of us. Let 'em die in combat-- we don't need their ilk!

Number of US soldiers killed in the Iraq War, of their own doing, because they CHOSE to be leeches: 1,574. These scumbags deserved what they got.

Even more entertaining is this photo of a dead US soldier. It's entertaining, because there's something called owning your actions. He chose his path, and now we as a country have to pay his survivors benefits and pay for his burial, not to mention the fact that a chaplain still has to go out and tell the blubbering widow, which is another waste of resources, and that is just disgusting. He chose to join, and because of that, Forsake The Troops strongly feels that he should just be thrown in a ditch somewhere and left to rot. This soldier was not a victim of anything else but his own poor choices. Forsake The Troops spits on him and all other "veterans" who died because of something that they chose to do. No sympathy here.

Mr. Crook, was never a customer of mine (but if he was the outcome would be the same). I purchased the domain name (from him) to remove it.

I have no problem with the pro or anti war crowed as long as they can make there point intelligently which Michael Crook obviously can not.

One final note, I have not spent the last 15 years in the military to listen to the kind of crap he is spewing or to have people like you call me un-American!!

Respectfully,

Mike Quinlan

Not yet sure that I want to respond to his email with anything more than a "thank you." I am a little taken back that he missed the point of my email and thinks I called "him" un-American.

...I find your censorship with such judgmental arrogance to be equally offensive and un-American.

My reference being toward a business. This would be akin to the landlords of a shopping center putting chains on Borders' front doors because the landlords felt selling Harry Potter books conflicted with their Christian beliefs. Now, purchasing the domain from Michael Crook and taking the site down is a different matter. Perhaps 3GuysHosting should have better worded their message.

I do think that Michael Crook is a bloody idiot trying to get himself a little "fame."

This made me laugh out loud!

Kudos to arcite!

I mean, we have warnings about smoking but what about religion and other cult group activities? Why not insist that all places of worship carry health warning: Danger, potentially irrational and intolerant thinking ahead! "Don’t follow leaders, watch the parking meters."

Read his full post from Tuesday, July 12, 2005.