Wednesday, June 30, 2004

8 year old adults

We just returned from the reception for David Fisher. His son Ben was obviously upset but was just being such a man. He held his composure better than I may have been able to do myself. The service was open casket and Noah handled himself very well. He became somewhat upset and tucked his hands deeply into his pockets refusing hugs and definitely refusing to step up to the casket with either Ben or myself. Ben was thrilled at Noah's presence. When they saw each other Ben lit up. Noah did a good thing tonight and it was hard. He is such a good child!

Driving Test Question

Trick Question (note: this is psuedo-safe for work but unlikely to be safe for guys to view it while sitting near your wives and/or girlfriends. Also, if your workplace is super-uptight about today's sexual harassment overkill you may just want to wait until you get home to click this link..of course, if that's the case, then they probably are equally as uptight about blogging and reading blogs online which means you are in trouble already anyway and you just might as well click the link.)

Evening Choas

All adult focus now turned toward preparing for the receiving of our recently passed friend. The children's focus is torn between screaming for the adults, singingly loudly and repetitive to drown out the screaming, and being totally self-absorbed in video games and telephone calls. Sprinkle on a little anti-cleaning and you understand our moment in time.

Job Search Progress

  • Applied to Home Depot online.
  • Spoke to someone about a sales job selling appliances (sounded like door to door vaccuum cleaner sales). I said I wasn't the right person.
  • Applied to the Knoxville News Sentinel for an Online Sales Coordinator position.

Practice your stagger

Come back here!

Ok. My skin is crawling off my skelton right now. Can you imagine what it would feel like to have a thousand ants crawling over you. Yeah.. that's me right now. And I haven't even overdone caffeine today!

I think I should take a 7 minute juggling break and finish it with a glass of decaf hot tea.

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a) met with "barter" client DONE
b) finish Home Depot app DONE (took forever!)
c) clean kayak and complete sale
d) cold call realtors
e) answer a Good Samaritan
f) answer news paper ads (dry one this week.. maybe the sales section) In process
g) post resume on The Perfect Job
h) update profile
i) David Fisher's receiving DONE
j) create for reselling html templates on an affiliate program. These are the templates that will be applied to the content management system
k) apply for online sales coordinator position DONE
l) Prepare call list for tomorrow so I can hit the ground running on sales
m) Prepare script for making calls tomorrow
n) investigate Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC). Do we qualify?
o) Investigate Temp Assistance for Needy Families (TANF). Do we quality?

Not Business

The legal firm collecting for the TSAC student loan called me today to tell me that despite my request the autodraft couldn't be stopped and will go through today or tomorrow. He strongly recommended finding a way to "not bounce a check to the federal government." The statement was funny because if you read the full meaning into it the read should be "don't bounce a check to the federal government but bouncing checks to other people is ok." I don't want to bounce checks to ANYBODY!

So I dropped in on my "barter" client and learned that he really wants to only do barter and only if its not terribly expensive.

Maybe I can get some cash for the kayak today. I'll miss my outtings on the lake more so now that there is no hope of returning to them but we do what we have to do. One day I'd hoped to take that kayak down the intercoastal water way but if that were ever to happen I should be in a state that I'll be able to afford a new kayak anyway. Of course dreams like that and hiking the Appalachian trail are things that should be fulfilled when you are single and in your 20s anyway. I am not certain I could enjoy a 6 month adventure unless my family was with me.

Killing Animals

My brother reminded me of a bird incident.

My father, whose degree was in biology, taught me to respect animals with certain exceptions like moles (in my early teens I was asked to go check the mole trap and usually that required putting a shovel through the wriggling creature). Snakes you never kill. When I was 12ish, once in the woods with a friend we came across a snake and stomped it dead. We received no punishment over a slight scolding because it was a Hog-nosed snake and we had to deal with the stench the whole way we carried it home.

The bird. So, I'm near 14 years old and moving. My best friend and I take my bb gun out to the woods (in New Orleans, Kenner actually, this amounts to roughly a field of 12 feet tall weeds with bike paths) and we are shooting at rabbits and dragon flies. I don't mind the rabbits because they just run away. Dragon flies were cool to shoot because they were so abundant you didn't feel like you were killing something. It was akin to swatting a mosquitoe. Of course, dragon flies were color coded too. The green ones were easy kills. Blue a little tougher. Orange very hard. Red near impossible to get. Shooting at the birds bothered me. It's my turn to shoot and we see a black bird up in a dead tree. At my friend's urging I draw a bead on it. I aim true and then decide I'll miss on purpose and just scare it off. So I raise the bb gun so that I'm point above its head. I breath in then with a slow exhale I squeeze the trigger and thwack! As you've probably guessed, I nailed it! The bird goes from sitting upright on the branch to hanging upside down. Its wings fall open to look like this black upside down cross with what looked like blood flowing from both wings. It hangs for what seems a long time then it falls bouncing on every branch in a way that would have made the Warner Brothers (someone should tell them their home page does not work in Mozilla) proud. It was a horrific scene. I tell Dad the story and he explains to me that it was a Red-winged Black Bird and is a protected animal. I felt badly.

Red winged black bird in weeds
Red winged black bird in weeds
A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
I stayed up for a bit after getting home and watched the end of Star Trek - Nemesis thanks to video on demand so this morning I really wanted to stay in bed longer. Today shall be interesting.

Ye ol' babblings

First off, running 70 mph (112 km/h) through the mountains on a 25 mph (40 km/h) road is exhilarating and I can understand why I used to do that in college. However, I don't need that thrill again any time soon. Thank goodness a deer, bear or ranger didn't jump out and get me.

Seeing the vulture was definitely a highlight of the evening!

The mock casino went well and although I had to throw back to my thespian vocal training and spend the whole night talking "from the diaphragm" to overcome the noise I managed to maintain my voice. Turns out the mock casino was for some cemetary organization (I joked that the party would be dead). And I about died when their fearless leader gets up on the microphone and says "if you run out of money, you can buy $25,000 more fake dollars for $25 real dollars." Every so often one of these fake casinos has the misfortune of becoming a "real" illegal casino when handled in such a way. The leader of the company that puts on the casinos was very quick to jump to the microphone and make some corrections to the rhetoric to make our casino legal again. They haven't done an auction in sometime. I miss those. It was fun cracking jokes with the audience and pretending to be an auctioneer.

On the way back I pulled over at one of the lookouts to observe the mountains, the near full moon, the fire flies and the somewhat distinct smell of bear. When the area around you resembles the aroma of a petting zoo, tis best to get back into the car.

The drive home was leisurely. I resisted the urge to do more white noise (audio blogging).

Time to whisper appliance descriptions into my wife's ear.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Arrival - 0:46

this is an audio post - click to play

Vulture - 1:37

this is an audio post - click to play

Babbling continued sprinkled with politics - 3:32

this is an audio post - click to play

Pointless Babbling - 5:00

this is an audio post - click to play

It's a shame the radio didn't come through.. It really sounded like "the station Billy Crystal uses for all his movie sound tracks." Later it became some real good bluesy rock.
On the road. Trying to make an hour and a half trip in 40 minutes.


Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer

Job applied for.....out of town

I just applied for this ColdFusion Developer contract job. 3-6 months. They'll have to front some travel money if they want me.

These are the tedious things that get in the way

I just spent an enormous amount of time retyping my resume into a "text only" version for a company that doesn't like the word format. However, now that it is done, it will be easy to maintain.

Time for snack break and to rest my eyes from this monitor. When I come back, quickly copy a cover letter and shoot it off along with this text only resume.

Listening Pleasure

Today's listening for productivity is "The Very Best Of Todd Rundgren." When I was gandering the CDs I saw "Al Green Greatest Hits" and could not hold back a chuckle because I read it as "Al Greenspan's Greatest Hits" and parody and music titles like "Easy Money" "Money for Nothing" "The Rates Are Going Up" "Under Wallstreet (to the tune of Under the Boardwalk)" etc came to mind.


Here's a concept I missed

Usually my good friend and I are exceptional at predicting trends in technology. I completely missed this one! Your retail stores like Home Depot, Target etc go through such turnover that they are now require applicants to sit a terminal to apply. The interesting thing is this terminal simply goes to an Internet job site so you no longer have to get dressed to apply for minimum wage jobs because you can do it from the convenience of your house!


1 successful business meeting set for July 12th. So how do I live until the money starts coming?

This picture better shows the depth of the trench. I should have taken a picture of the stuck Jeep but my mind was a little focused on wenching it out. Ropes can be seen on the hood of the green car in the first picture. Click on the pictures for a larger view.  Posted by Hello

You might be a redneck post sorta implied that I got the Jeep stuck in my own backyard. Well... I might have been driving it through a spot that I've planned to put a gray water discharge so there is an L shaped trench and two deep holes. The arrows show the intended path of the Jeep. The circles show the 4 axle deep holes that the 4 cooresponding wheels of the Jeep ended up in. Ooops. (really 2 holes and a trench) Posted by Hello

Too soon.. Too young..

FISHER, DAVID CLARK — age 37, of Knoxville, passed away Sunday, June 27, 2004 at UT Medical Center. He was a member of All Saints Catholic Church and a Network Engineer for Freightliner of Knoxville. Mr. Fisher is survived by: his wife, Michelle Fisher; son, Benjamin; and daughter, Carley Fisher; parents, Jack and Carolyn Fisher all of Knoxville; brother, Jeff Fisher of San Antonio, Texas; sister, Amy Blizzard of Alcoa, TN; and several nieces and nephews. The family will receive friends from 6 until 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 30, 2004 at Highland Memorial Park, Funerals and Cremation, 5315 Kingston Pike. A Funeral Mass will be said at 11:30 a.m. Thursday, July 1, 2004 at All Saints Catholic Church with Father Chris Michaelson officiating. Interment will be in Highland Memorial Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorial may be made for the children to the David C. Fisher Fund: AmSouth Bank, 8921 Kingston Pike, Knoxville, TN 37923. Arrangements by Highland Memorial Park, Funerals and Cremation, 588-0567.


a) submit for CF position in Charlotte NC (requires text only version of resume)DONE
b) apply at Home DepotIn Process
c) Cold call real estate agents
d) deal craps at mock casino tonight (leave by 5:30) DONE
e) email friend regarding website on monthly fee
f) contact "barter" client for a brief meeting DONE
g) set meeting with "pay later" client DONE
h) email contract agency saying "I can do XML" DONE
i) Confirm casino time as 7:30pm DONE
j) Make payment arrangement with KPA DONE
k) write marketing blurb for self for websites
l) create banner ad for self for websites
m) write 30 second sales pitch for self
n) contact D.R. for BNI meeting DONE
o) drop Noah off at a friend's house DONE
p) contact friend to let him know I have an AOL 9.0 disc for him DONE
A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
I want to go back into the warm bed. My mind is racing because there is so much I need to be doing. It's hard to be calm when it feels like all the walls are crumbling around you. I need to spend 2 hours at a temporary agency to get a job that won't pay my bills and will get in the way of me making sales calls but .. oh I don't know.

Tonight I deal craps at a mock casino although what I will get paid will probably just cover gas with a little let over.

Monday, June 28, 2004

Dungeons and Dragons

I took Tommy to play D&D at his friend's house. I really appreciate the guy that is DM'ing. He has gone out of his way to really help these kids have some normal social time and he is being extremely patient. Tommy is having a tough time staying under control but so far has not been unbearable. Despite my constant reeling Tommy back in the game is very fun and relaxing for me too. I needed the break.

Tommy's appointment

I took Tommy to his doctor's appointment and the doc took some time to let me know Tommy is feeling more depressed than usual because of my job searching. (there was a lot more to it than that but in summary - and it was good conversation). He recounted a story of a very successful friend of his that ended up as a cashier. Many people have suggested that I will end up in retail at minimum wage. Is this a polite way of telling me that I'm not as good as I think I am? They nicen it with "this market just doesn't support you" but do they really mean "your fire burned out buddy! your horse died! Get off the traiL! Yer in the way!"

Good people!

A couple of kind souls have donated today and I understand deeply what it means when a poet says something has "warmed his heart!" I have felt so terribly beat down recently that this act of kindness actually created a physical warmth inside my chest! I'm not ashamed to say I started to tear up.

Thank you!

Lights out

Well now, I feel about worthless! The bastards They cut my power off anyway even though I'd negotiated for 5pm today! Talk about embarassing! All the kids say "Hey! What happened?" "Uh, well... yer Dad's a bum and the world is angry with him and you are feeling the brunt of it." I'm surprised we don't hear all the time in the news that these meter people are being shot. I asked, "why didn't you tell me before you did that?" and he replies "we don't do that anymore." I only lost about a half days work in job searching.... Again, when things are going poorly the system works twice as hard to get in the way.

Glow in the Dark

Here's a cool sounding job.. Note, this is for working in Oak Ridge, TN (that's the place where the nuclear bomb was made and where the DoD still produces its nasty weapons) "WNP Fallout Specialist I"


MBNA called.

Looks like I'm going to spend the day talking to collectors. That's the interesting thing.. when they want the most from you they require more of your time be spent with them instead of spent earning the money that they want.


I hate seeing hourglasses on computers! Why won't anything move at my speed?!


So Sears, perhaps the most obnoxious of collectors, calls while I'm upstairs and I say "hang on. I need to put you on hold a sec." That was so I could take the call downstairs. I place the call on hold and head downstairs to find that they've hung up. I guess they'll call in another hour.

I think it's ridiculous to have collectors ask that you hold for an operator but they won't hold for you to discuss collection issues outside of your kids earshot.

Yesterday's passing

Noah's best friend's father passed away yesterday. Apparently the car accident had placed him in a coma and they were giving him 72 hours before making the decision to pull the plug and he decided to go on his own.

The newspaper and news stations never gave any mention of the accident. The only details are rumors. The father and his son were on the way to the grandparents to pick up the little sister. He was on a 5 lane road (2 northboard, 1 turn lane, 2 southbound) that most West Knoxvillians regularly drive for one reason or another. The speed limit on that road is 35 mph (56 km/h)[if I recall correctly] but frequently cars are in excess of 50 mph (80 km/h). The rumor is that some teens in an SUV were driving too fast in Friday's torrential rains and hit him head-on on the driver's side of the vehicle. One doctor said he had never seen such severe brain injury. The child was thrown from the back seat to the front seat to be saved by the airbag. Were it not for the airbag he would be dead too.

The child called yesterday and cried for Noah to come visit with him. He said "I don't care about toys. I just want to talk to you." Noah bravely and calmly went to visit. Pretty heroic actions on the part of 2 eight year olds. I had the pleasure of being with one of the neighbors and was able to watch from afar as the boys greeted each other in the street. The neighbor on her own accord commented on their bravery. Everyone recognizes that these children are being forced by circumstances to "act like men."

The feelings here are somber. Each of the children is in deep throught. Tommy relinquished himself to his tent for awhile after given the news. Noah had tears, pulled himself together then made that difficult phone call. (I still ponder whether or not Noah fully understands the family structure. There is a piece of me that wonders if Noah thinks "dads" are replaceable.) Sarah always internalizes and rarely lets things out. Cathy is quite upset. I am scared that I won't be able to pull things together for my family before it is too late.

I did not know David that well although I believe the two families, ours and theirs, were just starting to become closer. When the leaves drop in the autumn I can see their house from my dining room window. However, it has made me put serious thought into how severely insane it is to be having lived one fifth of my life (the past 7 years) without insurance. To have 4 children and a wife and not have life insurance and health insurance is ludicrous. Daily I have stress pains in my chest and sides and hold such tension in my chest that I often wonder if I'm not experiencing small heart attacks. The thought of leaving my family in such chaos, financial turmoil and completely without means terrifies me. The knowledge that if something happened to me my health care could conceivably be inadequate because of my financial status pisses me off. The rich always get better care. I was reading in the paper that some companies are now hiring without giving health benefits. The industry will have to change soon but I doubt it will happen without the US sinking into a health care dark ages.

And it begins...

TN Lottery Results and SI Designs appear to be down.


a) brew coffee DONE
b) finish XML example - failed to work DONE
c) contact contract agency with XML example DONE
d) write high level spec for "barter" client
e) contact at least one recruiter In process
f) contact TSAC collectors and stop autodraft DONE
g) send fax for overseas friend to help him with a US problem DONE
h) find marketing for risque but potential lucrative venture DONE
i) take Tommy to doctor's appointment DONE
j) (while Tommy at docs) visit with Protemp DONE
k) (while Tommy at docs) drop in on old client
m) Contact friend Randy for social networking In process
n) Contact friend in DC for social networking
o) find marketing for local developers
A New Day!

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This Morning
I feel like I'm going to throw up. My nerves are shot!

By not sticking to my guns by going home after church I feel like I let myself down and let my family down. However, I would not have traded yesterday for anything. I really enjoyed my time with my family.

We will make it through this. I'm going to take today one step at a time.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

7:30 and nothing yet

So, 7:30 has rolled around and I have made no headway in my preparations for tomorrow which means that tomorrow will be spent making preparations for a productive Tuesday.

A house for us!


You are bidding on 1 Nike Missile Base,complete with 3 missile silos. 1 silo has been converted into a home that I have lived in for over 20 years. My home has an underground pool with 9,000 gallon aquarium in the end of it.A fire place with a water fall and goldfish pond, and a swinging rock for entry to wood storage. A hot tub and sauna and 10x30 ft elevator that enables me to park 3 of my classic cars in the family room.The astro turf in the family room is from the Bengals football field.The elevator doors over the elevator and pool open to flood light into the house. Each silo has 5,600 sq.ft.of useable space.Both of the other silos have an elevator 55ft long x 10ft wide with steel doors covering them to keep out the weather that are hyd. operated.The property also has several out buildings. (1)barracks 36x200+ ft (has a bad roof) (2) maintenance garage 40x40 (3) generator building 20x40 (4) horse stable 40x40 (with outside riding arena)all these buildings are concrete block. (5) above ground bomb shelter 40x30 with 16" thick poured concrete walls. (6&7) 2 small guard shacks. on 14.58 acres. security fenced with remote controlled gate, city water(all water lines have been replaced) The property is on state route 262 in Dillsboro, Indiana. We are only 30 minutes from Cincinnati, Ohio

This is a fun and very private property that also has many possibilities as a business site.I am taking bids on this property to see what kind of interest I get. The property is for sale but the min. bid is 500k.The property will be shown by appointment only to only qualified buyers.Any questions please email me at [removed].

Item Specifics - Residential Real Estate
Sq Footage (Sq. ft.): 5600.00
Setting: Rural/Country
Property Type: --
Number of Bedrooms: 4
Property Address: 8854 s,r, 262
Number of Bathrooms: 2
City: --
Year Built: 1958
State/Province: Indiana
Lot Size (acres): 14.58
Zip Code: 47018
Sale Type: Existing Homes
For Sale by: Owner
At the time I looked at the auction the current bid was US $1,250,000.00

Mentally and physically exhausted. During church I decided I'd bail on the family and spend the afternoon on the computer. Instead I gave into lunch and swimming. Now the evening is here and all I want to do is lie in bed and watch television.

Great day!

It was implied but never stated that yesterday was a wonderful day! Lots of productivity and during a stress break I made great headway on the yard moving a rik of wood, filling the void left by the removal of the 2nd 3rd of sidewalk, seeding the manure, cleaning the driveway, and packing the trailer full of old rusty fencing and nasty mosquitoe breeding guttering. Only received one poke! Hmm.. When was that last tetanus shot?

I even decided to move the peach tree. I will dig out a huge ball and use the Jeep to drag it. If I kill in the process it is no worse off than it is now. If I succeed in re-planting it and it lives then we will have an upright, fruit bearing peach tree near our future garden and grapevine! I may try to winch it to the trailer rather than drag it.
A New Day!

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This Morning
I have mixed feelings about today. I will make a choice and be happy with it. Everyone is supposed to go to church today. I feel like I should stay home while everyone else goes. Of course, everyone is going swimming afterwards and I really enjoy the swimming plus I feel better when I am helping to keep a watchful eye on the kids--the more pairs of eyes the better!

Goals should be:
a) finish xml example to secure contract
b) submit multiple resumes to ads in paper; broaden horizon to sales jobs and possibly call centers
c) write high level specification to help secure "barter" client as pay or partial pay
d) Review marketing piece to make sure it is ready and convincing so that I can rapidly send it out
e) search jobs online for contract work in Asheville, Atlanta, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Lexington, and Nashville
f) contact Randy
g) clean Kayak for sale

Goals will be:
a) Take Tommy to church DONE
b) Swim with family in pool DONE
c) cook dinner
d) settle kids in for dinner
e) try to finish xml example
f) send email to contract agency regarding xml abilities
g) write high level spec for "barter" client
h) send email to "barter" client
i) contact Randy for appointment

a) avoid mental breakdown
b) pay power company
c) Give plasma
d) Call TSAC and stop autodraft of student loan payment
e) visit "barter" client
f) visit IRS office
g) apply for job at Home Depot (of all the low paying jobs, I think this has the most appeal)
h) visit unemployment office
i) visit Randy
j) sell Kayak
k) make several sales calls
l) Take Tommy to play D&D with his friend

Saturday, June 26, 2004

The excitement begins

Ok. I spent $60 of our last $100 on food tonight. That leaves $40 to pay for gas and food while trying to find a job and wait for the first paycheck to come (usually 2 weeks right?). Let me tell you. This is a wild ride! I've begun looking at pawn shops differently.

I wonder how much plasma brings in now-a-days and how frequently I can give.

More realistically I wonder what incentive I can give people to pay me a deposit to get to working on their web sites, wireless lans, computer repairs, etc. immediately.

Nailing a couple of consulting gigs would go a long way right now.


One of my son's friends was just in a car accident with his father. The boy is fine except for extreme mental trama. The father has suffered severe brain injuries and is unlikely to improve.

Please hug your loved ones today. Tell them how much you love them. Never part company angry. And remember things are never as bad as they seem.

You might be a redneck if...

If you have the tools and the knowledge on how to get your Jeep unstuck from a large hole in your yard, you might be a redneck.

If you have the capability of getting your Jeep stuck in your yard, you might be a redneck.

If you actually get your Jeep stuck in your yard, you might be a redneck!

Good Attitude

Undaunted by adversity I am highly motivated toward productivity today.

Blue Oyster Cult is certainly helping. Screaming, unhappy children are not. I feel like I should be upstairs helping reduce the wife's stress.


a) Contact friend, Randy, for social networking
b) clean up Kayak for sale (no final ride)
c) get rest of manure out of trailer DONE
d) load trailer in preparation for a trip to the dump DONE
e) convert to XML using an XML data island so it can be used as a recent example to secure a contract In Progress
f) update
g) more pricing effort on "barter" client - ie. high level spec
h) email friend confirming availability to deal craps at 2 mock casinos DONE
h) help an overseas friend deal with a US problem DONE
i) move one rick of wood from one part of the yard to another part of the yard DONE
j) Cook dinner. DONE
A New Day!

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This Morning
Sleep deep but woke achy. Decided to floss teeth couldn't find floss. Did stretch though. Let Tommy get on my nerves and I became snappy. Looked at Amy's unhappy wrinkled face and was reminded that is not a path I want to walk. Decided it best to leave the room for a few and come back with a different attitude.

Friday, June 25, 2004

What next?

As everything else comes to a head, the IRS decides to start breathing down my neck. Let's suffice it to say that last fall my attorney wanted me to give him $1000 retainer to begin straightening this out (I am certain the final bill will be 5 times that) but didn't want me to do anything until I could bring him all my paperwork in order. Hmm.. Seen my house? The paperwork is anything BUT in order.

So this is how we come to make those difficult choices in life.. Does one choose to live under the bridge or jump off of it?

Do I know XML?

So I get this email:

I noticed you had some XML on your resume. How much experience and how
recent is your experience with XML? I have a contract that just came
for dealing with XML that may be a possibility for you.

The problem is the only reference to XML on my resume is circa 2002. (btw, if you are going to look it wouldn't be complete without also looking at brief 1 and brief 2) I reply that I know XML very well because I believe I do and that obviously there is more to the job than what the initial email implies. To make sure I'm not fooling myself, I run out to the W3 Schools and spend the evening reviewing XML history, standards etc. Of course, the first thing I see is this joke:

Question: When should I use XML?
Answer: When you need a buzzword in your resume.

For my level of skill, XML is far from rocket science. But to make sure, I took the W3Schools XML test. My results appear below:

W3Schools XML Quiz
20 of 20


Time Spent

Poetry: Addiction

Tim of Spy Journal has written some exceptional poetry. I used to enjoy dabbling in some writing and presenting it at coffee house poetry readings until one day I read something that the guy I looked up to as a respected poety responded with "What the f*(& was that?!" He didn't mean it in a bad way but it made me a little bashful about presenting poetry anymore. However, there is one small piece that I wrote around 1992 that thought needed to be read (the recording didn't come out as well as I expected. Now that has arrived I can put up some poetry. Special thanks to Tim for the inspiration!

this is an audio post - click to play

I am addicted!
Oh I can't get enough
7 times a week
24 times a day
60 times an hour
60 times a minute
Oh I can't get enough
Hey you! Can I have some of yours?
Just a bit
All I need is a little more

Bad scene

Had a huge blowout with the wife. We went to pick up Sarah from her week away at camp. Everyone is happy and Cathy does something innocent and for some reason I found it intolerable and got upset. Cathy unhappy with me driving angry made a comment and I blew up worse and ended up parking the car and started to walk home in the rain. Made a complete ass of myself in front of Cathy and 3 of the kids. I feel horrible. How could I have been that way? There was no good in it and my chest still feels absolutely hollow inside. I question whether or not my heart beats. Of course to add insult to injury was the power cut off notice when we got home.

Scheduled Power Outage

According to the nice pink note that appeared on my door sometime between 1:30 and 3 my electricity is scheduled to disappear at 5pm if $300 doesn't magically fly out of my hindquarters. No matter how badly you hate your job, be thankful you have one.

While trying to make arrangements to keep power the person on the other end of the phone says "Is there anything else I can do to help?" and my reply was "Yes, don't vote for Bush!"


Cheney says the F word and Bush gets fighting mad! AP Press picture of GW


Phone interview in 6 minutes,social networking call (and a very good one), stomach in knots, this morning has been anything but normal, hot as hades in the office.

Tech Time

Researchers warn of infectious Web sites

The researchers believe that online organized crime groups are breaking into Web servers and surreptitiously inserting code that takes advantage of two flaws in Internet Explorer that Microsoft has not yet fixed. Those flaws allow the Web server to install a program that takes control of the user's computer.
Now that's a reason to use Mozilla Firefox!
Get Firefox


a) telephone interview DONE
b) update
c) email friend regarding dates for helping him
d) email pay monthly prospect DONE
e) contact Linksys re support question
f) email "barter client" DONE
A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
Gentle rain outside. Pleasant to listen to except for the occasional memory that both the windows in the Jeep are down and the thought that kids didn't zip up the tent. I wanted to stretch out because my back is aching so much from sitting in this horrid wood chair but the time is flying this morning and I've got to get productive. Main goal is to prepare for a decent phone interview. If all goes well I'll have 4 large companies offer me jobs at the same time!

Thursday, June 24, 2004


Cheney utters "F-word"

According to Senate rules, profanity is not permitted in the chamber. But when the exchange occurred between Leahy and Cheney, the Senate was not in session so there was technically no foul.
Technicality or not I don't think that's any way for a vice president to act.

Twinkle Twinkle I'm in the Stars

this is an audio post - click to play
this is an audio post - click to play

Today's Quote

It is a good thing to be rich, it is a good thing to be strong, but it is a better thing to be beloved of many friends.
- Euripedes


I've always been bothered by webrings for some reason but my wife created Big Family Bloggers and I have joined!

Now off to pick up a child.

The Car Wreck is getting a lot of press. My original post (doesn't say anything more than this post)


Another local company that I am very excited about has contacted me directly wanting a phone interview for tomorrow.

Memory Lane

I have to post this so I can get the window off my screen. When I was 7 or 8 my brother and I inherited my father's 45s (that would be a record for those that don't know) I also had some 78s and 33s of course. We had these until they became a victom of a mass cleaning around age 13. Anyhow, a few of the songs stuck so strongly in my head that every month or so for some unknown reason I hum the tune and a few lines to myself.

I originally thought this one HERE COMES THE JUDGE by Pigmeat Markham was on the B-side of The Monkees D.W. Washburn (D.W. Washburn plays in my head more often and more frequently than any other song I can think of).

Here are the lyrics:
Pigmeat Markham

Hear ye, hear ye
This court is now in session
His Honor, Judge Pigmeat Markham presidin
Hear ye, hear ye, the court of swing
It's just about ready to do that thing
I don't want no tears, I don't want no lies
Above all, I don't want no alibis
This Judge is hip, and that ain't all
He'll give you time if you're big or small
All in line for this court is neat
Peace brother, here comes the Judge
Here comes the Judge
Everybody knows that he is the judge

Everybody near or far
I'm goin' to Paris to stop this war
All those kids gotta listen to me
Because I am the judge and you can plainly see
I wanna big 'round table when I get there
I won't sit down to one that's square
I wanna lay down the law to them that brought it
I'll bust some head because I am the judge
He is the judge, he is the judge

Who's there? I is. I is who?
I is your next door neighbor
Order in this courtroom, order in this courtroom
Judge, your Honorship, Hi sir
Did I hear you say "Order in the Court?"
Yes I said order in the court
Well, I'll take two cans of beer, please
He is the judge, he is the judge
Everybody knows that he is the judge

I had a chat with Ho Chi Min
With cheap rice wine and chased with gin
Won't take long unless I miss my guess
I'll have you out of this doggone mess
I sent a cable to Bob and Mac
Let them know I'm comin' back
Sit right down with Rock and Nick
Teach them boys some of Pigmeat's tricks

Oh, oh judge, your Honor, Pigmeat said
"Don't you remember me??"
No, who are you, boy
Well, I'm the feller that introduced you
To your wife... to my wife?
Yeh, life! You son-of-a-gun you
Come November, election time
You vote your way, I'll vote mine
Cause there's a tie, and the money gets spent
Vote for Pigmeat Markham, President
I am the judge, vote for Pigmeat
I am the judge, vote for Pigmeat
Now, everybody knows I am the judge


The recruiter called with a possible temporary contract whilst we wait for the other company to come through!

Shaky Ground

Today I am shaky and didn't want to go to the trouble of fixing lunch but had a quick hotdog. While in the kitchen I absolutely felt like I wanted to pass out.

So difficult for the small business man

Stay Low

[10:02] <ConqSoft> Friend of mine caught this out his back window last night:
[10:03] <slammmed> loud audio lol
[10:05] <ConqSoft> The audio doesn't do it justice.
[10:05] <ConqSoft> He said.
[10:05] <ConqSoft> It shook the house and tripped two breakers. Never lost power though.

I present to you an example of sheer stupidity. I post this picture knowing that the card has to have been cancelled by now as this link is going all over the Internet. He posted the picture for an ebay auction of a Rolex watch. This is the same as walking through the mall with several hundred dollar bills hanging out of your back pocket. Posted by Hello


a) send information to person requesting pricing DONE
b) send pricing to business seeking to pay monthly for a website
c) send pricing to "barter" prospect
d) take Tommy to STAR DONE
e) finish updating
A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
Woke this morning with my stomach in knots as my brain rushed through a variety of things done and things that need to be done. This was in that half sleep half wake stage so it took some effort to bring myself around and into some semblance of calm.

I decided to do some stretching and start the day right but got into a conversation in the hello picasa chat program. The day I installed it someone signed up as a friend. The conversation was utterly brief and he disappeared so quickly that I couldn't help but wonder if I offended the person somehow. Of course, for all I know it was a 12 year old kid looking for porn. The Internet is certainly the last place to take things personally but incidents like that reinforce my belief that manners are disappearing, people's phone skills (chat is nothing more than phone typed) are declining, and communication is becoming more succinct and impersonal.

Time to brew some coffee and wake Tommy.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda



I don't know how long this one will last so enjoy it while you can. Entire text reproduced below:
'Harry Potter' Loses Potency Atop U.S. Box Office
Sunday June 13 2:23 PM ET

Harry Potter as a devout high-schooler who gets pregnant following an unsuccessful attempt to cure her boyfriend of homosexuality, has earned $3.7 million to date. The $5 million film was released by United Artists, a unit of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc.

I found it! Reuters feed Read the first and last paragraph. The Yahoo page either messed up on the feed or a disgruntled or soon to be fired employee was having some fun.
Seems to have gotten a lot of press!

Victorinox SwissMemory
Buy me one! Pleeaaasssee!

SwissMemory features:
  1. USB memory with 64MB memory stick
  2. Blade
  3. Nail file
  4. Screwdriver
  5. Scissors
  6. Key Ring
  7. LED mini light
  8. Retractable ball point pen

Post written in India.

This picture was taken by a friend of mine so I know for a fact that it was not photochopped.  The story:

While checking out of Walgreens with her toddler the cashier gives her one of those small flags (presumably since July 4th approaches). The "MADE IN CHINA" sticker just could not be ignored!

(click picture for a larger view)Posted by Hello

Brains! Brains!

I put that adorable picture of Amy up to replace my psycho looking profile picture but in that scaled down version I can't help but look at it and have it scream "brains! brains!" at me. Time for a new picture.

The new earth is walkable! I should have rolled it out or something and am certain I'll need to add more dirt but its nice to see things coming together. Our squirrel says "Welcome to the nut house!" (click picture for a larger view)Posted by Hello

Grass grows fast in manure! I like this picture of the grass and weed. I say weed instead of weeds because my blog is already attracting the drug culture with references to tetrafluoroethane huffing and canned air. I figure if I mention weed and grass then 'shrooms from the horse dung (better say mushroom too) that I'll really pull in the curious person looking to melt their mind. Of course, after reading my blog they have have the effect they wanted without the expense! Hope your day is as trippin' as mine! Posted by Hello

MS Patents Your Body!

Microsoft has been awarded a patent for using human skin as a power conduit and data bus. Patent No. 6,754,472, ...

For example, a watch, pager, PDA and radio may all include a speaker." To reduce the redundancy of input/output devices, Microsoft's patent proposes a personal area network that allows a single data input or output device to be used by multiple portable devices.


Got client's networking issue resolved over the phone! I had set a gateway on the nics and once removed they worked again. Win2000 has a problem with losing the USB devices and I may need to update some files later but hopefully they will be up and trouble free for awhile.

AT&T can't compete.

The company said it would no longer offer the services, as a bundle or individually, to new customers in Ohio, Missouri, Washington, Tennessee, Louisiana, Arkansas and New Hampshire, where almost 38 million Americans live.
That's AT&T. My long distance carrier for 10 years+ I suppose that means for existing customers the rates will go up or stay the same but in no way be competitive. Time to find new LD.
"The ability to bundle local and long-distance services has become an essential aspect of competition in the long-distance market," said AT&T spokeswoman Claudia Jones. "AT&T and other competitors will not be able to effectively compete in the residential long-distance market without a viable local product."

Hydrogen Cars are here now!

Environmentalist standup! Hydrogen Cars

If you can’t wait five, 10 or 20 years for the much-touted "hydrogen economy," then step right up: Several companies are ready to sell you vehicles that run on the fuel that's much cleaner and gets higher mileage than gasoline or diesel.
There is a Hydrogen Hummer and a Hydrogen Shelby Cobra!


a) finish fixing client's network issue DONE
b) update DONE
c) pay cable DONE
d) email "barter" prospect DONE
e) hand deliver ovedue paywork to GirlScouts for Sarah's upcoming camp DONE
f) cook dinner DONE

That's it. I'll add other goals after completely those. The wants are:
1) program on
2) work on
3) clean in office
4) have money poor pour into my lap (translation: do some good work and be paid appropriately and appreciated for the work)
5) work on finances
6) take the kayak out one last time before selling it
7) work on the yard
A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
Woke at 3:40, 5, 6 and got up at 6:30. Must focus on solving the client's network issue. The wireless network was performing too slowly or cutting out when they were trying to share files on a particular accounting package so we kept the wireless network up for their internet connectivity and used the nics and a hub to connect the machines directly. I would have preferred to use a crossover cable but didn't have my crimping tools with me. Note to self: add network toolkit to computer doctor bag. The issue now is that the two machine talk over the nics (metric 1) but as long as the nics are enabled they won't use the wireless for the internet connectino (metric 5) Obviously the computers are seeking the Internet on the wrong network. nics are on subnet and wireless on subnet Wnoder where my DNS and Bind book is?

It was very difficult to not fall into "poor me" mode but the preacher's words on worry kept me positive and despite the stresses I made it through. Yesterday morning I parked in the parking garage instead of the lot because the sign on the parking garage implied cheaper parking and it looked like rain. Turns out it was valet parking. Cars pulled in behind me and I let it go but something felt wrong. Walked half way to my destination to relize I left them my entire keychain which has one of those tiny credit cards hanging off of it. Ran back and got them to give me everything but the ignition key. Left for the office without my umbrella and decided not to go back for it. In the office 1.5 hours of work turned into 4 hours without the proper finish. When I return to the parking garage they don't have change for my $20 bill and it takes what seems like 1/2 hour for them to run around to businesses and banks trying to get change.

At least afterwards I had a nice lunch with the father in law and was able to get his computer to print his expense reports.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004


a) visit downtown client without getting a parking ticket DONE
b) update
c) followup with monthly residual prospect
d) sit down with planner and review overdue action items
e) submit 1 resume/cover letter
f) make a sale
h) have lunch with father in law DONE
A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
Want to slip into a panic attack but I keep talking myself out of it.

The father-in-law's preacher told a story on Sunday and the father-in-law recounted it to me. I'll try to convey it the best I can.
The preacher has always had his paychecks delivered to the middle drawer of his desk. He didn't want anything more interaction than that. He simply knew on payday the check would be in his desk. The church gets a little modern and starts using direct deposit so now on Friday at 12:01am his check will be deposited into his bank. As he has some bills to pay this makes him nervous. He begins to worry. And on Tuesday goes online to check his statement only to find the check has not been deposited. On Wednesday he finds the same. His worry continues and on Thursday no money has been deposited. He decides to set his alarm for 12:01am Friday and get up to see if the money is there. Just before going to bed he changes his mind and resets the alarm to its normal time in the morning. Friday morning after waking up at his normal time he checks his account and sure enough the money is there.

He worried Tuesday and nothing happened. He worried Wednesday and nothing happened. He worried Thursday and nothing happened. He learned that things happen when they are supposed to happen and all the worry in the world is not going to change that.

Ironically before his worry began he was preparing a surmon on "worry."

I have been worrying too much and the worrying has been impeding my productivity. Time to let things happen when they happen.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Bush2004 Look closely!

...Bush supporters who have offered to pay as much as $135,000 for the domains. He declined to sell, citing animosity toward the incumbent president as the chief reason.

GMail Tech

Using GMail and logging for POP3 access or the ability to send all your other emails to your GMail account? Those are here now! Pop Goes the GMail allows you to check GMail using any POP3 email client (like Outlook or Outlook Express). mbox and maildir sucks your email from your other accounts and sends them to your GMail address.

How we are found

Yesterday someone found my blog by searching Google for "cooked chipmunk in dryer". I come up as the 2nd listing on the results!

I love the Internet!

Here are my last 20 searches:
29 May, Sat, 23:07:24 Google: motorola v400 ring answer length
31 May, Mon, 13:48:44 Google: geocaching reality television
03 Jun, Thu, 06:39:27 Google: billy teeths buy
04 Jun, Fri, 14:02:49 Google: teenage asperger's
04 Jun, Fri, 15:28:02 Google: juggler bottles
04 Jun, Fri, 18:07:48 Google: naked 5th graders
04 Jun, Fri, 19:53:51 Google: "spectrum fairness"
07 Jun, Mon, 03:59:55 Google: huffing canned air
11 Jun, Fri, 12:37:43 Google: shaggy eatting pizza Scooby Doo
11 Jun, Fri, 17:58:11 Google: tetrafluoroethane huffing
11 Jun, Fri, 18:49:36 Google: "libby lu" teen girl target
12 Jun, Sat, 01:00:10 Google: resume juggler new orleans
13 Jun, Sun, 22:31:24 Google: libby lu's in atlanta
14 Jun, Mon, 15:26:43 Google: credit card swipper cleaning
14 Jun, Mon, 18:42:15 Google: juggler + blogspot
15 Jun, Tue, 16:40:36 Google: "fix USB port"
18 Jun, Fri, 00:47:51 Google: tetrafluoroethane huffing
19 Jun, Sat, 10:25:56 Google: tetrafluoroethane huffing
20 Jun, Sun, 07:01:18 Google: autonomous lawn cutting system is called the “Weed Eater”
20 Jun, Sun, 12:56:02 Google: cooked chipmunk in dryer

"naked 5th graders"?!!! 1) Who would search for that?! 2) Why would it find me?!! (that's evident. 5th graders reference is Sarah's field trip etc and naked is in many references to Amy and Tommy) I get an awful lot of finds on "tetrafluoroethane huffing".


a) prepare for morning meeting DONE
b) go to morning meeting DONE
c) see daughter off to church camp DONE
d) call friend regarding a website and maybe sell him my kayak DONE
e) send pricing to person requesting information about a website
f) decide how to proceed with "barter" client
g) submit 1 resume/cover letter
h) update
i) update
j) Aspie support group
k) Lunch DONE
l) Support wireless network client
m) send pricing to friend regarding website
n) answer friend about helping him in June and July
o) send friend confirmation on price of kayak
A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
Completely and utterly wigged out.

Sunday, June 20, 2004


a) some home repair DONE
b) swim with the kids DONE
c) review "pay comes later" site in preparation for meeting
d) cook dinner DONE

Lost Humor

Somewhere along the line this comedian traded humor for stress. My wife often cracks jokes that I respond way too seriously. I want my humor back!

Book Recommendations

I've been given two boook recommendations. I cannot review these yet but they come highly recommended from a good friend.

The Church Beyond the Congregation by James Thwaites and SoulTsunami by Leonard Sweet


A New Day!

Let's start the day off with a PayPal donation link:

This Morning
The inlaws had Sarah, Noah and Amy for the night. Wahoo! We could sleep in except that my body won't let me.

Had a pleasant phone call from my brother where I talked his ear off.

Called my father to wish him a Happy Father's Day.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Cathy suggested these pictures should be done in order. They are too big to render in a line in most people's browsers so I will describe them assuming you are reading left to right and top to bottom.

The first picture (shows a soccer goal) is to the leftmost of what we all call "the lower lot". Beyond the burn pile is the area that has a grapevine and will become a garden. This picture was actually taken from the bottom of the driveway.

The 2nd picture. View from the dining room window. The stuff on the right is being trimmed back.

The third picture is the view directly behind the house. Notice how our private jungle encroaches upon us. Note: all these "hello" pictures can be clicked on for larger images.

The fourth picture. Here is the rest of our rain forest down the backside of the house. View still from dining room window and to the right of the initial dining room picture. Posted by Hello

This is in the lower lot directly behind the house and is being cut back dramatically to be landscaped after it is under control. The tree in the right hand corner is the dogwood that is seen with the bird feeders from the dining room window. Posted by Hello

Amy the Innocent

A couple of nights ago Sarah left her container of makeups unlatched (Amy can't open it when its latched) and lying on her floor beside her bed. The kicker is that while Amy raided the makeup, Sarah was on her bed reading a book and taking no notice of Amy's activities!

Who me? "Come on! I didn't do anything..."

I give in! "OK! You busted me..."

I want to be my big sister! "I just want to be like Sarah sooo badly!"

Ewwwww "Eeyuck! Look what I did!"

I'm clean.. "I'm clean! It's the tub's turn!"

Once again, Goof Off comes to the rescue!