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This Morning
I woke at 3:30 and should have pulled myself out of bed. Regretfully I slept until 7am. Fortunately I woke then because I had to get Tommy out of bed.
So once again I find myself questioning, "Why do I blog?" I began it as an anonymous outlet to vent; something cheaper than a shrink. But I found it had a life and refused to stay anonymous. Blogging is also fun and addictive! Do I use it to release too much emotional baggage? Should it be a technology report instead? In an irrational fit of anger or stress do I blurt out unreal hurtful feelings? My journals have always been magnets of negative feelings; best to get those out and keep the good feelings in! These questions arise because Tommy's teacher has become a reader of Tommy's blog (or a one time reader) and she is a nice person that tries hard with Tommy but I wonder (and will have to put aside some time to review the archives) if anything harsh was written. Our only frustrations with her have been in what appears a lack of communication. "How was Tommy's day?" "We had a great day!" Meanwhile I'm hearing about Tommy swinging baseball bats at kids or setting off panic alarms in the main office. Now, that could be her style and in the big picture those incidents may not have been significant. We could also be spoiled by having such astounding communication from his 7th grade teacher that openly reported what was going on good or bad and frequently (almost daily) did it over the phone. She solicited our input and we accepted her suggestions. It could also be dictated by the administration that she minimize communication with the parents and our real beef is with the administration, not the teachers. The administration consistently fills our IEPs with what seems to be false promises or fails to provide for us some of the same accommodations that other more functional students than Tommy receive.
"Does blogging hurt?" So has this blog interfered with my finding a job? I think not. I think my efforts have not been strong enough. I have considered taking the blog down while I search for a job but really once on the Internet, always on the Internet. Thanks to The Wayback Machine and regular backups once you publish, it's alway there! Have I offended anyone? Probably. My views are not always mainstream and I'm certain someone has become irrationally offended. If so, my apologises. I am sure it will happen again.
"Who reads this?" I originally was writing to myself. Then to my wife. Now I mostly write to my wife but I am happy that I have a somewhat regular readership and I am pondering ways to better write for them. Some of the readership I know and some I am surprised when I learn about their interest. I think having readers is exciting!
