Forget Reality Television; Forget Ed TV; Forget The Truman Show--try "Reality ME!" The entries below follow me throughout my day. Try on my shoes... This blog will document my success or failure on handling the daily challenges. Originally started as an anonymous pessimistic following of a difficult situation (ergo the poorly named cursed-juggler), this writing has turned into a pleasurable medium to inform friends and family and make new friends.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
The Greatest Wife
Closure
It was a effective money management scheme when I hard a regular check that was directly deposited. The strategy was that the credit union had the amount of the car payment plus a little extra automatically deposited from my paycheck. The credit union would then automatically pay the card payment leaving the extra in the account. This extra built up quickly and became an occasion extra car payment or emergency money. As a savings account it also earned some interest.
Next, $25 per paycheck was automatically put into the passbook savings (things could go in but I had to visit the bank to get it out). Sometimes I'd put extra. This added up incredibly fast since I never looked at it and it earned a decent rate of interest which was fun to watch grow. This became mad money or emergency money.
Finally, the remainder would go into my checking account (also interest bearing) which was set up to autodraft all the utility bills and some others. This was bill paying money and what remained was used for living expenses and some luxury.
Well, a few years ago the credit union sent a check for $8.75 saying "Due to inactivity your account is closed." That was fine. One less thing on my mind.
I've been wanting to recover the passbook account but can't find the book. I think about it every few weeks and have for the past 2 years or so. Today I finally stepped into a branch and asked if the account was still alive. They said after 3 years of inactivity they start billing $2 per month until the money goes away. I think I like the credit union's approach better. Certainly puts a damper on these movies (like Futurama) that base a character's wealth on some loose change that earns interest over several hundred or thousand years.
It is comforting to know it is gone. I have simplified. I can quit looking for that passbook. And I have one less reason to schedule a stop in my day.
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This Morning
I gave into sleep last night and woke this morning at 5:30. Again, sleep is almost a waste of time. I am so stressed that it is not good sleep. My muscles ache all the time now. My deadline is tomorrow. I've put in 7-8 hour days where they had hoped for 12-14 hour days. I am so disappointed in myself.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Freedom
Instinctively flinching the boy's leg slides within his trousers and the dog runs away. It is the clothing and not the body that is glued to the bed. With much difficulty he slides himself out of the clothing and stretches his naked body to remove the aches from lying still and in one position for so long.
The boy stares at the bed pondering his escape. For the first time in his life, he freed himself without the mystics of his fabled friend. This new found capacity to help oneself is overwhelming and causes the boy to swoon.
His foot throbs reminding that an injury persists and that his friend is still inexplicably missing.
Kerry Endorsement
The Crawford Texas Newspaper endorses Kerry! (That's Bush's town!)
Eatten
And the beast consumed him beginning at his toes. It picked off one toe nail at a time and used it to scrap the succulent jam from between the digits. After the jam was gone the toes themselves were snapped free of the body and swallowed whole. Some fire was applied to the soul of the foot to cook off that tickly stuff and then each foot bitten off at the ankle. Knees snap very nicely when bent the wrong way. The beast describes calves tasting like chicken and the shin being useless. The tights are pulled from their sockets at the hip and set aside for last as the beast's favorite part of the meal. The genitals have an aphrodisiac affect on the beast and its yearnings cause it to rush through the rest of its meal. Not yet full but satisfied it leaves head to ponder its new bodiless state.
The boy, unable to move anything but eyes, jaw and tongue begins to look around. He then jolts fully awake to roll his eyes toward where he once had feet. A dog licks the jam from between his toes. His feet are still glued to the bed with the rest of his body. He is unable to move anything but his eyes, jaw and tongue. The dog looks into the boy's eyes. It seems so gentle then with a curt growl bites down on his toes.
Of Grasshoppers
Master: When do you really need it?
The Next Day
The next day the boy woke. A strange silence weighted heavy in the air. The armies were gone. No mob stood at his window. It could have been a dream if not for the desolation and destruction clearly visible from his bed. He tried to rise and found he could not move. Panic. Calm. He called for the Genie. No answer. Panic. He called again. Utter fear! The Genie was gone and he was glued to his bed.
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This Morning
For the past 3 weeks I've had permission to be working 12 and 14 hour days or more and I have been lucky to put in 8 hours. Now it comes to bite in the hind quarters. Why am I failing to get work done in the evening?!
I am so stressed that my body aches. Have you ever wanted an accident or a heart attack to happen just so you could have a break? You know, spend a couple of days relaxing to the beep of a heart monitor?
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Critters in the house!
When I lived in Wilmington (ages birth-6) and Cary (ages 6-10), North Carolina, I frequently caught the green lizards. We used to have so much fun letting them bite onto your finger and just hang there. I always toyed with the idea of letting one hang on an ear lobe but I don't think I was ever that brave.
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This Morning
This is crunch week. I've planned on working at the office then rushing home to continue working at home. So yesterday I worked at the office (tired as all get out) and rushed home to go to soccer. Then rushed home from soccer to go to a maintenance client to deal with their emergency. Then rushed home to participate in "Drink a beer day" then passed out hard.
I wanted to work from home today but I'm not showing it possible.
Monday, September 27, 2004
Take Yer Blows
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This Morning
I tried to stay up real late working on projects last night. I failed to get my hours in this weekend due to network issues and lack of creative skills in getting around them. Deadline looms and I'm going to make a bunch of people really unhappy if I don't pull this off.
Thursday night I was one of many chaperones on the cub scout Sleep with The Sharks program in Ripley's Aquarium in the Smoky Mountains. I wrote a little on the experience in Tommy's blog.
I must prepare for this hellish day.
Sunday, September 26, 2004
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This Morning
"It's astounding, time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
I've got to keep control"
I was to put in 48 hours of work this weekend. My vpn would not connect yesterday and I've put in none. I am surrounded by unfinished projects calling to me not unlike Philip's voices call to him (a must read! Exceptional entry!). Some things are getting accomplished. Slightly rewarding I made enough progress on my friend's drywall that I was able to bring the bulk of my tools home. I see their end near. Tommy's bed that has been broken for weeks now is in the process of being repaired under warantee. Cathy has made a fantastic effort at either throwing out or passing along stuff we are no longer using. Clutter reduction in process! I so want to not program and just throw myself at the house, the yard and the cleaning. My deadline looms this Friday but starting tomorrow I will be hounded about the status. I should not sleep until next weekend.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Moan
I'm so tired my eyes hurt.
If I lie I would not wake.
To my employer
My soul he takes.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Of Grasshoppers
Master: You need to get outside more.
Sleepwalking
Arthur
And the dragon said, "You can fight me and perhaps defeat me but then you still have the mountain to climb. Why not just walk around me and the mountain?"
And the knight replied, "The gallant act would be to gather many knights and put you down and move that mountain so that people to come have an unobstructed path."
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This Morning
I awoke at 4am and rose at 4:30 yet I still start the day off behind. I succumbed to a whim last night and failed to put in the hours I had planned. Today will be crazy with every minute planned out with exacting detail. There are bills to be hand delivered, banking to be done, work to be accomplished, camping gear to be packed and all with very harsh deadlines. I already need a nap and will have no significant sleep until Friday night.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Here is the view from the office of my current contract. It may be hard to see but that is a rainbow in the fountain.
Of Grasshoppers
Master: The sun does not warm you. The sun reminds you to think warm thoughts.
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This Morning
I failed myself. Last night I had the energy to code and instead of forcing an hour or two of programming I succumbed to sleep. I feel very rested albiet stressed.
Today we have challenges. We have a meeting at Tommy's school that is potentially ugly. The school is likely to ask that Tommy be removed from the high school. They are playing passive aggressive games and now it will be face to face and frustrating.
I also have to magically find $254 total. I get paid tomorrow but the power company is unwilling to wait until then. They want the cash today. I suppose we will be one day without power.
I have a status meeting to discuss one of my miracle projects. I need to tell them everything is fine and show them the progress but its just not there yet. Will we make it? I am not sure. Why and I so pulled to impossible projects on incredible deadlines that are understaffed?
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Consequences
And together the genie and the boy had traveled the world. Together they fought wars and conquered nations. The boy wished for and found gizmos and gadgets and wealth and prosperity. He played hard. He ate well. And now exhausted, the genie turns toward his bottle for comfort and the boy toward his turned down covers for warmth and protection. He mutters to the genie, "Are there any more wishes? I need one more." The genie solemnly replies, "They are all used up. I am sorry. What would you have wished for?" The boy simply glanced toward the window where just outside a world of chaos loomed for in the wake of their fanfare the boy and the genie left corruption, leaderless nations, dying soldiers, wasted resources and no joy remained as they had sucked the fruit dry. A single tear traced the boys cheek. "I wish I could take it all back."
Of Grasshoppers
Master: Just wait. You will see?
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This Morning
Decided to try sleep earlier with an early rise. Went to bed at 10:30. Woke at 12:30. Woke at 4am. Woke at 6am.
I'm so disappointed in myself right now.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Da Day
Sometimes during the support group meetings I listen and hear us describing some of my own traits. How much of what we hyperanalyze in our children is simply being human?
Sleep Deprivation is Killing Me
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This Morning
Went to bed at midnight. Woke at 1:10 to dog poo. Woke at 1:35. Woke at 2am. Woke at 3:11am. Woke at 5:20am. Woke at 6am. Woke at 6:14am. Started my day. Should I have even tried to sleep?
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Dear GW, Please consider Federal Disaster Relief for us....
Averages
Headlines Unseen
"Peak of Disney Castle Knocked Off. Skewers Large Rodent."
or
Page 1: "Tinker Bell Blown to Sea"
Page 3: "Merchant Ship Reported Flying"
or "Epcot Rolls Into the Gulf"
In entertainment news:
"Neilsen Reports Iraq War Ratings at Their Worst"
Ah! A little blogging therapy goes a long way!
Of Grasshoppers
Master: Not if you share them.
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This Morning
Could not pull myself from bed. I was exhausted. By the time I had the energy to get myself up I was in a panic and had to hide under the covers. I promptly fell back into a deep sleep to have vivid dreams of driving down dirt roads and taking pictures a huge snapping turtle and a pack of .. not wolf but the same family, the name eludes me atm .. fighting over a dead hyena. The dream shifted to me being the outsider in a group of rebels planning on hiding out and living in some library.
Today I have scheduled a little pleasure and to punish myself for the indulgence I have scheduled a little hell on earth.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Per the request of the girls, I rolled the dice and took the top off the Jeep. I'm not certain it will survive being put up again which could mean if there is a chance of rain I have to work from the house. I really need to set aside $200-400 and get a new top.
We then took two cars down to fraternity row at UT and let the girls mingle with the sorority girls. Only two of the seven girls reported being invited to after game parties and beer on the spot.
It was a great day and a fantastic outing. I should now put in 4 hours of programming but I think I just want to relax with my wife.
Tomorrow I will dry wall, go to the TVA Fair, cook dinner and program. (What a great reference!)
From the Mouths of Babes
She jumps instead of walking and is full of spirit and life!
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This Morning
The day began at 6am. The morning spent mostly attempting to clean.
Yesterday
Started a little late. The week had worn on me. Began the day at 8am by taking a little time to try to remove a burden. The burden ended up taking nearly 8 hours. During that time I was called to the business whose computers I am helping support and was there 2.5 hours. In the middle of it all I put about 4 hours into my OR contract job far from the 8-10 hours intended. The day ended at 2am.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Get a Blow Job here!
http://blow.jobs.com/ A Monster Company Find your next blow job right away! (this link is work safe)
From the mouths of babes
"Daaaddeee I want to go for a ride in the car!"
Then singing "DaaDee DaDeee la la la DaDee come upstairs!"
Progress and no progress
Tech - UBCD saves again!
VPN working!
Life is good!
Technical - image conversion
Does anyone know how to convert PCD files to jpegs? PCD
The Dog Needs a Club
Political - They Say
Now you can put words into the politicians' mouths. Everyone else does!
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This Morning
Up until 2am. Awake at 6. On the computer at 8.
So I'm working on an abused computer from a restaurant. It has reported for its Windows 2000 operating system "registry cannot load the hive file" (computers get hives?!) This registry corruption repair knowledge base article leads me to the Windows 2000 Registry Repair Utility which in turn leads me to Windows XP Professional Utility: Setup Disks for Floppy Boot Install (that uses six floppies...I didn't even know I still had working floppy disks!).
Creative Writing
The Alcoholic
I can't remember the last time I had a drink.
I guess I've had too much!
-DM 05/13/1998
Poem - Manners
Poot! Giggle
Poot! Poot! Giggle Smirk
Poot! Poot! Smirk Poot Giggle
Plartph! laught Ha Giggle Poot!
Poot tat tat Smirk HaHa Plartp!
Excuse me.
Kids
They just don't keep things bottled
up inside like adults
And they're less cranky!
-DM 5/10/1998
A Memory - Until you fold it
Anyhow, we tested the warnings. We removed the disk from its protective case (naturally used it in the computer that way and it worked. We rubbed it on our pants and it worked. We wrote on it in pencil and it worked. (Now for my favorite) We poured koolaid on it and it worked. We washed the koolaid off before sticking it back in the computer but in hindsight that was a dumb thing to do. The final killing move was to crease the disk. Folding it in half and unfolding it destroyed the readibility of the floppy disk.
Today's Pain
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
--
Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com
--
Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com
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This Morning
Amy woke at 4:30 or so and Cathy brought her to the bed where she tossed and turned and talked. The dog pooped on the papers and I could hear Amy with these exaggerated "sniff, sniff"s through her nose. It was two loud distinct sniffs. Then a pause. Repeat. Finally she said, "ew! Molly pooped!" It was quite humorous! I finally gave up and put her in the crib where she complained until she fell asleep.
It took skill to get my clothes and belongings out without disturbing Amy. Somehow I didn't disturb her despite clanging trash cans, loud beeping phones and muttering under my breath.
The dog was getting aggitated at being locked in the bedroom so rather than risk having her wake Amy I let her upstairs. I figured she had done her business but to be safe when I got upstairs I'd cage her. Too late. I get upstairs and a pile of mush is in the bathroom with dog pee streaming under the bathroom cabinet.
Told Tommy he was on his own and went downstairs to iron. He must have gotten dressed as I heard him leave for the bus. Never saw what he looked like or what he carried off with him.
Took the others to their respective bus stops. Found out that Sarah left one of Amy's juice cups at the bookfair but another child saw her set it down and had the wherewithall to pick it up for us.
Today will be a miracle if I don't have a break down.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Good work
Still faced with the challenges of angry collectors, home and child catastrophes, more to do than time permits, battles with the school administration, etc. but all in all things are looking up lately.
This happended because I over stacked stuff in the garage once then opened the garage door crushing part of the top garage door panel. Now the garage doesn't seal as well as it used to and outside air mixes with the inside air causing the a/c to produce an unnatural amount of condensation. The pump works over time. It slowly dies. I clean it out giving it a reprieve but forget to check it until its too late. It never recovered from the cleaning.
My lack of follow-thru bites us again.
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This Morning
I thought of staying up late but was dizzy with tiredness. Woke at 4 but could not motivate. Woke again at 6am and stared at the ceiling until 6:15. I really wanted to be programming and sleeping at the same time.
I'm upset with myself that I have not been forcing solid, uninterupted blocks of productivity over these past several months. I'm behind and I'm not sure how I am going to catch up.
Today: work all day, take 4 kids to Rocky Hill's open house and book fair by myself, program
Yesterday
Started my contract in Oak Ridge. Was nervous as I could possibly be without getting ill. Things worked out. A part of me enjoyed the atmosphere. A part of me wanted to have a spell of vertigo. Felt like a combination of a scene from Office Spaces (amz) and the beginning of The Matrix (amz) when Neo is talking to his boss.
Monday, September 13, 2004
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This Morning
I tried to get up at 4am and didn't get up until 5:45. This day is going to be tight. I have contract work to get done, rental equipment to return, cars to clean, Tommy's D&D game, and programming.
Yesterday
As predicted, no programming. I allowed my self a diversion in the morning and as I'm getting in programming mode, Amy's finger gets smashed in the front door. Looking at her mangled finger I fail to remain calm. I do not yell at any of the kids. Cathy tells it differently. I figure somewhere down the middle we together are correct. We tend to her finger. I take her to the trampoline to calm her and see how she reacts when she falls on the finger. Everything is looking fine. Sarah and I take her to the doctor anyway. He prescribes some Motrin and says no x-rays are needed. All is well.
I get home to realize I promised a client that by today I would remove certain software from his machines. Off to client location.
Back just in time to go to a Scout Leader meeting roughly five minutes late.
After the meeting I tend to family matters then its off to a friend's house to pickup some software. From their I check on the cat at the house we are watching. From their its back to the client's business until after midnight.
I debate an allnighter but give into much needed sleep.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
9/11
9/11 for me does not represent tradegy. It represents glory. It represents life. When someone mentions 9/11/01 my mind doesn't jump first to seeing world famous landmarks demolished (although it angers me that my children cannot visit the top of the Towers as I did nor can I or they see the statues of Budda). My mind jumps to the little wheel my wife's GYN was holding when she said, "Do you want to know what you were doing on Sept 11?" and to all the giggles, messy diapers and lessons of the wonders of life, learning and growth that followed. September 11, 2001 represents my fulfillment as a human being to leave a legacy.
As for the political side of things, it represents a loss of freedom as a coverup of a government mistake. Terrorism has always been present. I used to be proud to say that the only time the United States had ever been attacked on its own soil was during the Civil War (granted there were some pot shots from U-boats and Japanese subs during WWII). I saw the terrorists won. Their goal was to change the way we live. Most Americans live unrealistically in fear. The fear is irrational but it is what the terrorist wished to achieve. They have won. I feel like I'm living in George Orwell's book.
The silence in the skys on September 12, 2001 was wonderful and eerie. It was complimented by the silence on the roads. If we could have turned off all electricity and moved momentarily beyond the horror, I think it would have given a nation a day to be incredibly introspective, relate better to the ways our forefather's lived when they founded this nation, and appreciate more the modern conveniences on which we have come to depend.
I can no longer carry my pocket knife on an airplane. The pocket knife which is a reminder of achievement, safety, acts as a worry stone and fidget toy, and can be an ice breaker since I can do a great magic trick with it; However, I can drink from a coke can which can be ripped into a razor sharp weapon and I can wear a necklace of garrotable steel and I can carry eye stabbing pens and I can allow my fingernails to grow long to enable me to rip out your carotid artery bringing a messy rather instant death and I can hold my hand with my index finger and pinky straight out with the other two fingers bent and punch really hard into a mans neck crushing his Adam's apple giving him about 3 minutes to live (you can recover from this by painfully pushing your hands on the side of your throat to pop the Adam's apple back into shape) and I can cite many other examples from keys to belts to lady's products. All these added security measures that are great inconviences are simply misplaced funding to put on a dog and pony show for the American public and give them a false sense of security. It simply keeps an honest man honest.
We no longer refer to our emergency service as 911. It is now E-911 to distinguish from "the event." Some schools no longer run field trips to Washington DC to allow our students to learn about our government (it's easier for the dictators to supplant our lifestyle if a whole generation doesn't know how its suppose to work).
Our way of life as changed. The terrorists won.
Of Grasshoppers
Master: Better than being raw.
Anti-Bush
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This Morning
The toy banging eight year old.
The screaming toddler announcing she wanted out of the bedroom.
The slobbery stench creating bed pouncing puppy.
The countdown timer on available programming hours.
The plumbing snake suggesting it be used in 3 more places.
The near vomit inducing coughing.
I wanted to sleep in.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Sink drains!
Friday, September 10, 2004
We have the Flexi Comfort 3 (amz) retractable dog leash for Molly and I must say that it is wonderful! Does anyone have any idea what is the intended use of the smaller strap? I see no where to attach it. Our packaging was quickly discarded so if there were instructions they are long gone. It seems to big to be intended as a collar and the material too thin without presenting a cutting hazard. To me it would seem to serve as a safety strap perhaps attaching to the device and your belt loop incase you dropped it but I see no way to do that. Any suggestions?
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This Morning
Woke this morning feeling hung over. The sinus seems a bit better. I think its allergies. Took my last zyrtec (sp?) today and will have to switch to allegra. Still irritated that I've gone most of my life without allergies and now they suddenly pop up.
Today is going to be rough.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Political
Voter's Self-Defense Manual 2004 brought to us by vote-smart.org
Poem - Of Friendship
Yesterday I was reminded of the value of friendship.
Friendship is like a plant.
Treat it harshly and it will die.
Forget to nourish it and it will go away.
Talk to it or it will not grow.
Take it for granted and lose it.
Visit with it or else it becomes just another thing.
Friend, like a plant, is beautiful - keep it well!
-DM 5/10/1998
Of Grasshoppers
Master: What is your destination?
Ah Soul!
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This Morning
Woke at 12:30, 1, 3, 5 and 6:07. Woke in pure unadulterated panic. My fist sore from yesterday. Time to take the kids to the bus stop.
Yesterday
Cathy was gone to pick up Sarah. Amy was playing in Noah's room. Noah was playing Gameboy in the kitchen. I went downstairs to get the Sizzix and got distracted on the computer. When I came back upstairs Amy was not in Noah's room. She was not in Sarah's room. I raced through the house calling her name and could not find her. She did not answer! I called louder and retraced my steps looking high and low and flipping covers. I called to Noah and he said, "She's in my room!" I told him to help look so he came and stood by my side. No sign of Amy. Panic! No answer. More panic! I told Noah to look elsewhere and he finally called, "here she is!" Amy had stripped and squeezed her feet and bottom completely into the dog water bowl and was tossing the dog food all over the place. Noah should have heard the noise. He gets so caught up in that game that the house could be burning down and he wouldn't know. I was scared and angry with myself for not watching more closely and I lost a battle with the kitchen cabinet. Wood 1; Fist 0.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Slick Deal
Another must read blog
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This Morning
The kids are off to school. Today is to be action packed. We are in battle mode but we don't want to be. I hate fighting the school system particularly when it seems like Tommy is not on our side.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
I see dead people
Ways to help
Dungeons and Dragons
I wish I had played Rune Quest more in college.
Bush Campaign Poplar Bluff, Missouri I am told this is a live clip from yesterday that is undoctored.
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This Morning
Rose at 6:15. Man am I sore!
Monday, September 06, 2004
Hot Fun
Sarah immediately started to tie Molly up so I took Molly. Tommy and I went off and flew his plane. It worked well until one crash caused the wings to quit opening. One more toy for me to repair.
Amy woke of course and went to declaring all the play ground equipment, "hot!"
Pre-teen Sarah bored quickly and declared, "the mall is more fun than the park."
Tommy grew weary of shooting a plane in the sky that would not open its wings.
Noah sought Tommy and I out.
Molly got released within the ballfield since it was totally contained but instead of running wildly she stayed by my side. Tommy said, "wee! Look at her. She's so happy. Look at her run!" This said while she walked slowly toward the gate as if begging to be let out.
We actually had a pretty good time and Molly was so worn out that she slept hard most of the rest of the day.
Angry Times
I came to a point where my anger was directed inward and I was unhappy with my treatment of others. I went to the mountains and had a long talk with myself. I had several meditations. I participated briefly in non-mainstream religion focused on the earth, spirit and peace. I made a conscious decision to cut anger out of my life completely. I would go with the flow and accept whatever destiny tossed my way.
I also made a decision around this time to quit feverously seeking a mate. I would date and I would date everything with curves that showed the slightest interest. I had a university with somewhere around 16,000 women to conquer and I had the mindset that I would do just that!
Isn't it funny how when you quit looking for something it comes right to you. In all my times of chasing women, the times they actually desired me the most were the times I didn't want them.
Enter my first wife. We dated once. On our second date, she was "too tired to drive home" so my roommate and I being incredibly laid back and carefree said the same thing we would say to anyone else, "sure, stay over." She never went home again. At one point, a week or two later, my roommate and I flat out asked her to go home (we were running out of clothes at an incredible rate). She went home and came right back. It wasn't long before I was angry again and yelling frequently. At one point she explained, "I communicate by yelling." The next 7 years of my life would have lots of yelling.
Of late I've been biting my tongue so hard that it bleeds and trying my darnest to make sure that I am not unnecessarily outlashing at anyone. Of course I have failures and afterwards I mentally beat myself to a pulp for my weakness. The failures are mostly around the kids and family although I recently flipped a radio station van the bird. Considering that one and perhaps 2 other incidents that I quickly corrected, I can think of almost no road rage in the past many years of my life. I've twice been threatened with a gun over road rage incidents in my early 20s - once it took me a couple of minutes to process that the guy was offering to shoot me; the other time I begged him to try.
Since high school drywall has not stood a chance against me except in the rare case that their ally the two by four jumps into the fight. Cider block proves to be a much more worthy adversary but not for lack of trying; fortunately I never broke my hand but I certainly thought I did a couple of times. We have one wall that remains a memorial to such stupidity although I cannot remember if it happened during this marriage or last. I do know that I have had the urge on more than one occasion but I have definitely resisted successfully.
Let me be the enemy! My family will rally against me but they will be unified and they will be stronger for it.
I do not like anger.
From the Mouths of Babes
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This Morning
Last night Tommy and I had a great time at the game. It wasn't until we were within 20 feet of the car that he decided to have his meltdown.
This morning I felt like I'd been run over by a truck due to the yardwork, the awkward seating in the stadium (sardines++), the huge amount of walking, and the late hour. I came upstairs to chaos and instead of helping I added to the chaos by getting upset.
Today needed productive. Either it needed to be all programming or the kids needed to get to a park. I wanted to take my wife to a matinee movie. Instead, it is going to be shot to hell.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Dreams
The intruments I have played are the piano, clarinet, guitar and harmonica. Never a violin.
Of Grasshoppers
Master: Give me a list with the most important at the top and the least important at the bottom. I will review it with you.
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This Morning
Oh I slept like the dead! I woke once at 3:30 and considered getting up for some programming. I could have. I should have. I didn't. I slept in! No screaming baby. Ignored the dog figuring it would use the paper. Of course, the gate to the bedroom was left open and the gate at the base of the stairs so it had full run of most of the house (the hallway gate was closed) to use its favorite spots. Once this morning a slobbery dog decided that I should be awake and assualted me with kisses. Unpleasant and funny at the same time.
Last Evening
After plumbing I switched to car cleaning but only got some vaccuuming done on one before the child swap came. Tommy brought home. Amy, Noah and Sarah swept away. We had a dinner and got to bed early. I tried watching a movie with my wife but I was to exhausted and faded away.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
More Plumbing
The leak on the faucet out back apparently self corrected so the water in the house is pretty much under control at the moment.
Time to wash some cars.
Drip Drip Drip
I remember moving to New Orleans and being at a T ball game and asking if there was a spigot around because I wanted a drink of water. One lady nearby cackled and said, "I haven't heard a faucet called a spigot in years!" Of course, I think the whole concept of drawing water from a pipe outside or a hose to quench a thirst would blow my kids' minds.
Declining Health
State of Me
Progress!
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This Morning
Yesterday afternoon was a blur. My one goal above all was to get to my friend's house and put a little joint compound on the wall. I did not achieve that. Instead I had a great afternoon with the kids, at dusk we moved Sarah and a friend to the movie theatre for "I, Robot," then we took Noah and Amy to Fuddrucker's for hamburgers. When I picked the girls up from the movie I asked, "So, did it inspire you to read the book?" And Sarah replies with surprise, "There's a book?" Then continues, "no, the movie is better. And it's easier." So sad. Cathy and I enjoyed the evening together. For once, I ignored the computer and spent some quality time with my wife.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Progress!
In closing I receive a phonecall from the school explaining that all other students had to be removed from the classroom because Tommy 3 times has shoved a nickle so far up his nose that you could not see the shiny part. Tommy in the background, "I'm suffocating!"
Time to eat something.
Seeking Calm
Politically Incorrect
Tard-blog.com in it's RITI SPED archives has numerous stories of special education teacher's escapades and frustrations. According to my wife these stories originate in Knoxville (I have to wonder how many are influenced by Tommy). Apparently the creator of the site(offensive, adult oriented) comes from NC to see UT games and met RITI here (maybe more than 'met'). The stories in Tard-blog.com do not offend me as I can see Tommy as the antagonist in many of them and as such I can empathize and laugh at the stories.
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This Morning
So yesterday I had an interview. I did a lousy job. I really need interview practice. I was too nervous. The job sounded exciting.
I deposited a check yesterday and wrote several checks based on that deposit. At the end of the day the person that wrote the check that I deposited called to tell me it will bounce. Now I'm back to producing miracles.