Friday, July 15, 2005

Universal Conservation of Knowledge

I was having a conversation with my brother-in-law when it suddenly dawned on me that I'm growing stupid. See, I used to have a fairly decent grasp of the English language with good spelling skills and proper grammar. In our conversation I accidentally used the word "immigrating" when I meant "emigrating." After enduring the mandatory southern education joke I had the following epiphany:

I blame the kids.

See. I used to spel gooder had decent grammer and what not. But I never realized that when they say "knowledge is gained" that they really meant it. See I thought "knowledge is gained" meant if you study hard you will "learn" but apparently there is a conservation of knowledge in the universe. So as one person gains knowledge, others must give it up. Kids gain knowledge at such a rapid rate that parents come across as babbling idiots. Society blames it on them "being tired" when in reality they have truly become "babbling idiots" which also explains why teenagers feel that they know more than their parents; in all likelihood, they do.

With the number of kids we have at the age ranges and the gross knowledge transfer, Cathy and I are lucky that we are smart enough to get out of bed in the morning.

This also explains why there will always be someone dumber than yourself that you have to deal with unless of course you just happen to be the dumbest person in the universe in which case your best friend is probably a rock.