I went before the judge over my bogus traffic citation. Interesting day. Better than CourtTV.
So, I'm driving down the road trying not to get too worked up over this and regreting having not subpoenaed the tape to see just how innocent or guilty I was. I get to the parking garage and see that all day parking is going to cost me $5 (add it to the court costs!). At least I had some fun in the garage. A wrong turn made me pass a particular truck three times. The roar of the Jeep was so loud that it set the truck's alarm off two out of the three passes! Btw, improperly working equipment on a vehicle is $67.50 per incident (tail light, muffler, etc). Better get that fixed soon!
I go to the City County Building and see the line of people waiting to go through the metal detectors and knowing darn well I don't have time to get to the car and back I just drop my two pocket knives, the ones I meant to leave in the Jeep, into the plastic tray to see if they'll pass. At the Duncan Federal Building they aren't concerned about pocket knives. They don't pass. The officer picks them up and I beg him to let me take them back to the car but unlike the airport they don't confiscate they just put them in an envelop that you get on your way out. Little did I know my way out would be in 3.5 minutes.
The administrative person at Circuit court says, "I think you are supposed to be behind the Coliseum but check with Sessions court." Session court admin confirms that I have to get back to street level, then to the Jeep, pay for parking and get a half mile down the road in 3 minutes. I wonder if they'll excuse a speeding ticket because you were "trying to get to court on time."
Parking: $1 and, oh no, a one way turn to the right. My bridge sits beside the parking garage to the left but is only accessible by monthly parkers. So right it is and rewarded by downtown construction--closed road! Forced to the right again. Oh good. That will put me on the parkway and I can get off at Summit Hill for a quick shot down the road and into the police station parking lot. One thing. There is no exit ramp for Summit Hill so its either Magnolia or the Interstate to Asheville. Alright. Magnolia and a U-turn to get back onto the parkway...only, the exit to Magnolia is right turn only. Ok. Backroads, gut feelings and guesses. By some miracle I get to the police station at 9:03 for my 9:00am court and the session has not begun. I even have time for a pit stop and urinal conversation with another traffic violator.
** to be continued **
